


Uncaged

by AuthorchanUwU



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Possessive Red, Protective Blue, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Update schedule?, What update schedule?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 33,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorchanUwU/pseuds/AuthorchanUwU
Summary: You had finally left that timeline behind.You had finally left Him behind.But things are repeating and in your effort to stop it, you find yourself in the one place you don't want to be.The UndergroundsWhere He is*****Reader has finally escaped the hold of an abusive Underfell Sans, escaped to a whole new timeline. Yet, she accidentally finds herself in the Undergrounds- a place she knew Sans was.She's terrified, doing everything in her power to not see him again.And yet... The monsters are different from her timeline. Kinder and friendly. Can Reader really be happy here? Or will her past come back to haunt her.





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dalliance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091111) by [thebananahasspoken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebananahasspoken/pseuds/thebananahasspoken). 

You had expected not to open your eyes. You had expected to be dead. You had hoped and prayed you were dead. The odds were in your "favor" as it was. Alphys did say, there was a ninety percent chance it would fail, shattering your Soul in turn. 

Relief was all you felt when she told you, her eyes as dead and uncaring as most monsters when she talked about the likelihood of your death. 

It was best to fail and die, than to fail and go back to Him. 

Your body twitched, coiling into itself as He flashed through your mind. As you curled up, your eyes flickered open already searching for the danger. Already smelling the air for His magic. Already shaking, anticipating His punishment for trying to leave. 

Thought… none of that occurred. Your breath caught in your throat as you finally took in your surroundings. 

Home

By god, you were home! 

Not the prisoned room He had placed you in. 

It was actually your home, the apartment you had before monsters overran everything. Slowly and carefully, you sat up. You gazed around with wide eyes as you swung a leg off the bed you had woken up in, your foot gently brushing against the floor. As if afraid that one wrong move would shatter this beautiful illusion.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you sat up, a wide smile stretching across your face as you took in the scene of your room. Has it really been more than two years since you'd last seen this place? It felt like decades. 

You stood, legs stretching to their full height. Your arms stretched out above you as tears now freely streamed down your face. Letting out a hoot of victory you jumped around the room, dancing, spinning, crying, and laughing. Your mouth parted and a long victory yell ripped itself from your chest. 

As soon as you heard a banging on your wall, you jolted. Dropping to the floor, you wrapped your arms above your head and stood crouched for a moment. 

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." You voice echoed across the room before your ears finally picked up on a raised voice on the other side of your walls. 

"Keep it down in there or I'm calling the cops!" A croaked ancient voice called as you finally poked your head up, gaze wide. 

It was Herbert, your old neighbor. A grumpy old man, who had yelled at you for every bump and noise you had made. You sucked in a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. 

Herbert, he had gone out fighting when the barrier fell. Had an old well cared for shotgun that he used when the monsters tried to take him. 

You had watched as they ripped out his Soul and devoured it, right there in front of everyone. 

But he's alive, and so are you. 

"Fuck you Alphys, it worked you bitch!" Your scream echoed across the room, bouncing off the walls in every direction. You felt dizzy with excitement and let out a slightly crazed giggle. You didn't even pay any attention to the pounding on the wall. 

"In other news, a child from a local adoption center has gone missing." Your ears picked up the faint sound of the tv, as Herbert presumably turned up the volume. You stood, shakily, a grin trembling on your lips. But you froze in your tracks, and raced over to the wall, pressing your ear to it. 

"Locals have been told to keep an eye out for a young, ten year old with short brown hair who goes by the name Frisk Greymore. Already, local police are recruiting members to join in the search parties. To help look for Frisk, please call the number down below. Your help will-" The voice toned out as white noise seemed to fill your ears. You stumbled away from the wall, heading towards the door. Your breath was heavy and harsh in your ears. 

No, no, no, nonononono, you had made it! This wasn't fair! You had wanted a timeline without monsters! Without Frisk! Without Him! 

Your hand gripped the doorknob and you turned it with such force, you were mildly surprised it didn't break off in your hand. Slamming the door behind you, you staggered down the stairs to the doors leading outside. You knew where Frisk was, and you'd be damned if you didn't try to stop them. 

*****

A sharp curse left your lips as a stick dug into your thigh. You jerked away, but already blood was welling up from the cut. About to continue up the mountain, you froze as something caught your eye. 

A scar on your ankle. 

That couldn't be right, it should have been left behind in that damned timeline. Breath coming in harsh gulps, your hand snaked up your shirt around to your back. Pressing your fingers light, and hesitantly, on the skin your legs nearly gave out as you felt the puckered skin of the long harsh scars. 

_ 'They're still there.' _You thought dumbly to yourself as you legs automatically started moving once more. You tried to push away the depression and despair that came with this knowledge. 

_ 'It doesn't matter. I-I just have to stop Frisk now.' _With that thought in mind, you determinedly trekked forward, pushing yourself harder to go up the mountain. 

*****

"Frisk!" Eyes wide and chest heaving from dashing up here, you gazed at Frisk who stood before the gapping hole in the middle of a wide cave. 

They whirled around, shock lighting up their brilliant amber eyes. 

"Who-?" They gasped, before you cut them off. 

"Frisk, please, don't do it! Th-they'll kill you Frisk." You croaked out, taking a slow step towards them. You approached them as if you were approaching a wild startled animal. 

Their face contorted into that of confusion and concern. "How do you…?" Shaking their head, they gazed down into the dark pit. "I have to." Frisk said, a small sad smile gracing their lips. "They're my friends." 

You didn't react fast enough, sure your body moved forward and your hands reached out to grab ahold of the child, but you just weren't fast enough. Watching with despair in your eyes, you saw Frisk pivot backwards into the dark abyss of the hole.

Dropping to your knees at the entrance of said hole, you felt overwhelmed with fear. History was repeating itself. Hand reaching up to run your fingers through your hair, your face contorted into a crumpled mess. 

"Damn it!" You cried out, voice echoing across the cave and down deep into the hole. 

You couldn't sit around. You had to leave. 

Leave before He came back. 

_ 'He'll be furious I left.' _That thought alone was enough to send fear shooting through your veins and sending you bolting to your feet. 

As you shifted your weight, turning to leave, the ground underneath you suddenly shifted with you. Freezing, you paused for a heartbeat too long before you tried to throw yourself away from the edge of the hole. 

But the ground gave way under your feet and you were falling. Your hands clawed at the air, trying to find some sort of purchase. As you did, your right hand slammed against something. 

You heard the sharp snap before you felt the crippling wave of pain shoot through your wrist. 

You passed out, still falling hundreds of feet to your doom. 

To the Underground. 

To Him.


	2. Entering the Undergrounds

Pain is what woke you up. Shooting through your wrist and aching through your head. You curled tightly up into a ball, clutching your hand to your chest. The familiar feeling of a broken wrist grounded you back to reality. 

He must've gotten drunk last night. No matter how you acted, He always found some reason to hurt you when He has had too much to drink. 

Shifting in what you presumed was your bed, you were mildly surprised to find that between your legs didn't ache. 

_ 'Did he pass out before he could do anything?'  _ That was at least one relief. 

Eyes cracking open, you expected to be greeted by the sight of His face, sleeping soundly with the scent of mustard and booze clinging to his breath. 

You were shocked instead, to find yourself looking at the golden petals of a buttercup flower. Jolting up, you felt more petals cling to your skin and clothing. Looking around, you saw that you were in a small patch of the golden flowers. A very well taken care of patch of buttercups. 

"Wha- huh? I-" Head snapping left to right, you searched for any trace of Him, mind clouded with pain and confusion. You cringed as you accidentally jarred your wrist, your stomach dropped from the sharp pain coming from it and you had to force yourself not to gag. 

Mind foggy from the pain and bump to the head, recent memories slowly start to rise to the surface. 

Alphys. The Lab. Home. Frisk. Falling. Pain. It all came rushing back all at once, making you feel dizzy. 

There were so many emotions flickering through you as you stood up on weak shaky legs. But the strongest one, of course, was fear. 

You had ran away. 

Now He would be furious. 

This time you couldn't help the gag that forced its way up your throat. Dropping back down onto your knees, you steady yourself on the ground with your good hand as you bent over and vomit spilled from your lips. 

It stung the back of your throat and as it settled on the ground, the scent assaulted your nose. You gagged once more, before spitting what remained in your mouth onto the steaming pile of food and stomach ache. 

Your body wobbled and tilted forward, you barely had enough time to lean yourself to the side so you wouldn't faceplant in your own puke. You laid there for a moment, trying to inhale the scent of the buttercups around you, but all you could smell was the mess you made. 

It made you feel guilty for ruining something so beautiful. 

Hand reaching up to grip at your hair, your knees curled up close to your body as you quietly sniffled pitifully to yourself. 

_ 'Pathetic.'  _ You thought harshly to yourself.  _ 'You finally escape and now you're just running back into His arms again. Should we wrap a ribbon around you before you parade yourself to your doom.'  _ The voice snarled in your head as self-hate entrapped you. 

Sobbing, you rolled over, away from the disgusting mess you've made, and squeezed your eyes shut. You could have laid there for minutes or hours, you couldn't tell way down in the Underground, before your mind slowly shut off and you drifted into an uneasy slumber. 

*****

What woke you this time, wasn't just the pain in your wrist, but also the uncomfortable pain in your stomach. It rolled and twisted, empty with what you went through before you fell asleep. Eyes cracking open, you rubbed away the eye crust with your good hand before using that hand to prop yourself up. 

Spitting on the ground in a vain attempt to rid yourself of the taste of bile in your mouth, you shakily got up on your feet. 

How long had to been asleep? And unconscious before that? 

With how your legs shook as you stood on them, you guessed for some time. 

Could you even catch up to Frisk at this rate? The thought filled you with despair. You had to give up before you had even tried. 

No, no, you couldn't. Sure, there's no way you could stop Frisk now, but that didn't mean you couldn't escape this damned place unscathed. You just had to avoid an Encounter, you couldn't let them draw your Soul out. 

I-if they di-did H-he would- would- shaking, you tried to brush that line of thought away. It certainly would not help you any to dwell on it. 

Stepping around the mess you had made, your footsteps softened by the flowers scattered across the cave-like room. Even still, the soft noises your shoes made as they met the ground echoing across the barren room. 

Heart pounding in your chest, you slowly made your way to the next room. You felt like any moment He could appear. Out of thin air as He always did. 

"Why hello there~ Didn't expect to see another human any time soon." A voice tinkered across the room, causing you to jump.

Wait… wait- wait wait wait wait. You  _ knew  _ that voice. 

"You're new to the Undergr-"

"Flowey!" You half shrieked, half sobbed, as you raced across the open room to the yellow petaled flower. Kneeling, you threw your arms around the shocked monster. 

"Hey~ What the hell are you doing ass-?" 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, please I'm sorry." Cutting off his sentence once more, you blathered out your apology, your voice nearly hysterical. 

"I-I didn't think," You gasped through your sobs "If I ha-had thought he'd k-kill you, I wo-wouldn't have…" Your voice faded away as sobs wreaked your body. 

You felt vines pulled you away from him, even as you tried to cling tighter to him. 

"Kill me…? Who the  **hell ** are  **you** ~?" His childlike voice didn't match the words he spoke. Yet, you knew Flowey had a potty mouth. 

Chuckling weakly, you glanced down at Flowey as he not so gently dropped you to the ground. It's okay. You deserved it. 

You did get him killed after all. 

"You don't remember? I'm Y/n." The next words that left your lips, left without thought. Flowey didn't remember, but you didn't think how badly he'd react to a stranger saying this. 

"Your best friend." 

The words had just escaped your lips right before you felt a sharp stinging pain in your throat. You desperately tried to drag in air as your fingers attempted to rip at the thorn speckled vines now wrapped around your neck. 

" **You don't look like Chara to me.** " Flowey's tinkering giggling vibrated through your entire body as he strangled you. 

He sounded utterly pissed off. 

Your mouth gaped open and shut, fingers twitching weakly as you clung to his vine. All that could be heard was the strangled gasping noise coming from your own mouth. 

Flowey's vines tightened even more and even that couldn't be heard from you any longer. Black dots were starting to form in your eyes and you dropped your hand back down to your side. 

_ 'I'm gonna die.'  _ You thought dimly to yourself as your consciousness started to fade away. Surprisingly, you weren't all that disappointed by that fact. 

Flowey had every right to kill you. It was almost a relief to die by his hands… um vines. 

Plus, now you wouldn't ever have to see Him again. 

The thought made you smile. 

"Huh~ what the hell are you smiling about-? AGGHH!" The vines suddenly faded away from your neck. Dropping to your knees in a crumpled mess, your body automatically attempted to suck in a breath of air. You panicked as nothing came in, your vision was still fading. You tried once more, a weak stream of air made its way past your abused throat and to your lungs. 

You pitched backwards, barely noticing the way your head thumped against the ground. You were too busy carefully drawing in each breath and cradling your wrist to your chest. 

"Oh my, what a horribly miserable creature." A soft spoken voice rang in your ear. Your head turned towards it, but you found you couldn't muster the energy to open your eyes. "To torture everyone who crosses its path. My child, are you alright?" You felt movement against your side as whoever spoke knelt down. 

"'m fin." You had whispered and still the words seemed a struggle to get out. 

"Shh, don't speak anymore little one. Let me carry you back to my home. I will tend to your injuries." The voice was so soft and gentle. It reminded you of your mother's, when she was alive. The thought made your heart ache. 

Picking you up, you laid snug in your savior's arms. 

But… were they really your savior? You hadn't wanted to be saved. You had not wanted Flowey to get hurt either. God, you hoped he was okay. 

How strange, to hope your would be murderer was okay. 

"It is okay now, I will care for you." The voice said softly as a furred finger brushed across your cheek, wiping away tears you hadn't realized had fallen. 

With a choked wheezed sob, you curled towards the unknown creature and buried your face in their fur before crying yourself to sleep. 

***** 

Carrying the young child across the near empty ruins, Toriel took into account your appearance for the first time. So concerned with chasing that damned flower away, she had not even realized your age. 

You certainly were not a child. More so a young woman, which greatly surprised her. All the Fallen had been children, Tori had yet to even see a grown human in person. 

Strangely, you had first seemed a child when she laid eyes on you. There was something delicately fragile about you. As if at any moment you could break. 

That thought alone caused Toriel to be more cautious of the grip she held on you. 

Feet moving along the familiar path, she quickly passed each memorized puzzle. She must hurry home to tend to your wounds. 

As they walked she took into account each injury. There was, of course, the forming bruising around your neck. She had also noticed the way you had shielded one of your hands. 

Shifting you to hold you in one arm, Toriel carefully picked up said hand and eyed it. You groaned in your sleep and she quickly, but gently, laid your hand back down. Seems a broken wrist. 

Toriel would have to check you over more carefully when they got to her house. 

For now, you needed rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wheezing* hello my beautiful lovelies, excuse me while I just die over here 
> 
> Thebananahasspoken, the author of Dalliance, actually bookmarked MY story 
> 
> I am shookthed 
> 
> Anyways my sweets, do tell me what you think of the story thus far 
> 
> We won't be seeing Blue until a few more chapters, and we still have a long ways to go until Red comes along to fuck shit up 
> 
> So look forward to the torment I'm gonna put Reader through! Don't fret through, there will be tons of fluff in store for her ^_^


	3. Caretaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author-chan is suppose to be working on Unpleasant SANSation 😅  
She is doing very poorly on that

You weren't the least bit disoriented when you woke up this time. You remembered someone 'saved' you, offered to tend to your wounds, and then picked you up and presumably took you to their home. 

You knew this, but you didn't know  _ who  _ the monster was. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, though certainly not  _ His _ . You would know His angry rough voice anywhere. You had become accustomed to carefully listening for it by your door, to mentally prepare yourself for when you heard Him come home. 

Although you knew that voice wasn't His, you didn't know if the owner of the voice knew Him. If they did, then you were already screwed. 

Which is why, even though you've been awake for an hour or more, you laid on what felt like a bed with your body relaxed and breathing deep. Pretending to sleep to avoid whatever you saw when you woke. 

Ha, it's not like you've ever said you were brave or anything. 

Forcing yourself not to twitch as you heard the door creep open, your ears strained, focusing on the newcomer. Soft steps were heard, approaching the bed you laid on. You couldn't stop yourself from trembling as a gentle soft hand laid itself on your forehead. 

"Young lady, are you awake?" The soft spoken voice from earlier broke the silence as you continued to shake. "Are you quite alright? Are you cold?" 

Your eyes flickered open, unable to stand the not knowing any longer, and you flinched away from who you found above you. Christ, it would have been better not knowing. It wasn't Him, but that didn't make her any less terrifying. 

Toriel, the Queen. 

Vicious, uncaring, and heartless.

You had never met her in person before this, but you had heard whispers of her cruel deeds from both monsters and humans alike, that was before you had caught His eye and were locked away from everyone and everything of course. 

Your jaws opened, ready to let out a scream, what little good that would do you. But all the left your bruised and aching throat was a low squeak of fear. Pressing yourself deeper into the bed, your hands lifted outwards against your chest. As if you, a mere human, could have any hope to defend yourself against a savage monster. 

"Please." The word left in a small puff of air, barely audible in the still air. "No hurt, please." The words were a struggle to get out, each one scraping painfully against your throat. And for what? To beg for MERCY from someone who enjoys others misery? 

The worst part of it though, you knew she wouldn't kill you. Toriel knew Him, hell everyone knew Him. The infamous Judge, the rule, the finder of the Last Soul. 

Savior of the monsters. 

Devil to the humans. 

The Queen might hurt you yes, maybe take a few fingers for bothering her so, but even she knew the dangers of killing something that was His. And He did tend to hold a grudge. 

"Oh you poor thing." You jolted in your spot, shocked to hear that same sweet soft-spoken voice she used. It felt so deceiving. "Don't you fret young lady, not all monsters are like that flower monster. Why, most of us are very kind." 

Lies. All lies. Liar. You fucking liar. 

"You do not need to be afraid anymore." 

Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar! 

"Although we wish to go to the surface, known of us would wish a human harm. At least, not here in the ruins. Certainly not I." 

**L I A R **

You hadn't even realized you had sat up until your fingers were bunched in her fur. Red hot anger overflowed your emotions, completely blotting out your fear. Face twisted in an ugly sneer, you lifted your other hand and struck her across the chest. You didn't notice that was your hand with the broken wrist until you felt the sharp jolt of pain. 

You didn't care. 

You hit her. 

Again. 

Again. 

Again.

Again, again, again, againagainagainagain **againagainagainagain. **

You couldn't stop, you had to hurt her. Hurt her like they hurt humans. Hurt her like He hurt you. You didn't stop until her furred paws were clutching your wrists, gently for your broken one, and holding them in the air. 

You were sobbing hysterically, gulping in giant breaths of air just to sob some more. 

"My stars!" She exclaimed, her voice cracking as if she were on the edge of tears herself. 

No, monsters don't cry. They're heartless. 

"Young lady, please you're hurting yourself. Please stop." Toriel cried out as you thrashed against her hold. It didn't matter. You don't care. This nasty bitch of a Queen would bring you back to Him again. 

Suddenly though, you did stop. Not because you wanted to, but because a sudden wave of exhaustion came over you. Out of nowhere you felt like you mind was being forcefully dragged into sleep. You struggled, in a vain attempt to stay awake, but all that succeeded was a slight twitch of your arm.

"I'm sorry, I did not want to force magic onto your Soul." You heard Toriel say, sounding regretful as she spoke. "Please sleep little one, perhaps you will calm down in the morning." 

And then everything drifted away, back into the peaceful land of sleep. 

*****

You woke up, wide awake and eyes flicking open. 

Strangely, you couldn't move. 

Heart already thumping fearfully in your chest, you glanced up to find both your wrist firmly tied to the bedpost. You struggled to sit up, taking notice in the fact that your wrist had been wrapped tightly and placed in a cast. 

"You are awake I see." You flinched as Toriel stepped through the doorway, a streaming bowl held in her giant paws. "I'm very sorry about the restraints. You came to once, and started harming yourself again." You didn't remember that, yet you did see the forming of some new bruises along your arms. 

"Wha' are you gonna do t'me?" You choked out the garbled words, back finally resting against the bedpost. Toriel approached, much to despair. 

"For starters, feed you. I don't wish to be attacked again, though you left little damage, so for the time being please tolerate the restraints." Sitting down on the bed beside you, Toriel looked down on you with a worried expression. 

"This must seem like a rather awful experience my dear. Attacked by, what you thought to be a fictional monster and now held captive by another." Toriel chuckled, one that held no humor but plenty of pity. "But I assure you, I only want to help you." Dipping the spoon into the bowl, Toriel blew gently on what looked like soup before holding the spoon to your mouth. 

Your stomach gurgled at the sweet scent wafting off the silverware and your mouth seemed to open on its own. Plopping the spoon into your eager mouth, you nearly moaned at the taste. It tasted sweet, like thick apple cider, with a pleasant amount of cinnamon and what tasted like whipped cream. 

Relaxing against the post with your eyes closed, you let the large furred creature feed you until the bowl ran empty. Your mouth had popped open for another bite, though your shrunken stomach was aching in protest, but none came. 

Peeking open your eyes, they flickered away uncomfortably as you saw the gentle warmth in Toriel's eyes. "I know you must be hungry young lady, but we mustn't overfeed you or you might be ill." 

"Do you…?" You started, head turned away completely from her. Your eyes stared intently at a small you laying across the room on the floor. "Do you know me?" The words came out timidly, yet you found you could speak easier after you had eaten. 

"Of course not, we have yet to exchange pleasantries." She said, a soft laugh in her voice. "My name is Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. May I ask your name?" 

She didn't remember you? The thought left you dizzy with relief. Now you knew for sure, no one would know you in this timeline. 

"I-I'm (Y/n)." You whispered and Toriel smiled widely as she leaned over towards you. You panicked briefly, jerking away as far as you could, until her nimble little paws began working at untying the cloth that bond you in place. 

As soon as you were free, your hands came up protectively against your chest. Toriel stuck a paw outwards, towards you. "A pleasure to meet you Miss (Y/n)." 

Looking at the outreached paw like it was going to morph into little vipers, you cariously stuck your good hand out towards hers. She grabbed a hold of it, completely engulfing your hand in hers as she shook it. 

"A pleasure indeed Miss (Y/n)." Toriel said, eyes shining brightly. 

*****

Perched on, what you presumed to be the living room floor you watched Toriel walk across the floor swiftly and elegantly going about her business. Everytime she took a step towards you, you jerked away. Whenever she tried to speak to you, you would flinch. You were hypersensitive to her every move, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Strangely enough, she had been nothing but kind to you. It was suspicious and unnerving, yet even though tried to keep your guard up it was softening you just a little bit towards her. 

Accepting a cup of homemade tea from Toriel, you scooted back until your back hit the front of the couch. You leaned on it, watching the steam drifting from out of your cup. 

It was almost hilarious how quickly and easily you were warming up to her. Just the other day you attacked her, now you were sitting here drinking tea with her. To be fair, it had been some time since anyone had shown you any kindness. 

"Might I ask Miss (Y/n), how did you come to be in the Undergrounds." Toriel asked, sitting across from you with her open cup of tea. Taking a small sip of your own, you felt the warmth of it travel throughout your body and instantly felt more relaxed. 

"I-I came looking fo-for someone." You mumbled, slumping in on yourself, your hair falling forward and blocking your eyesight. "I fell in after them." 

Toriel suddenly leaned forward, eyes very intent on you. "Oh stars, do you mean Frisk?" 

Your head shot up, heart pounding in excitement. Could Frisk be  _ here? _ Could you still have time to stop this? "Yes, yes! Them! They fell in, have you seen them?!" 

Toriel's face crumbled at the question and she sat back in her chair with a weary sigh. "Yes, but sadly they parted ways with me three days ago. I tried to warn the sweet child, outside these ruins can be a very dangerous place for a human. Yet, they were DETERMINED to reach the surface." 

Your own face fell, along with the shimmer of hope that had fluttered in your chest. Clenching your hands tightly onto your knees, you did your best to control the dark emotions from sweeping you away with your disappointment. 

"I know you must wish to go after them Miss. (Y/n)." Toriel said softly. 

You nearly laughed aloud at that. Toriel would have to drag you kicking and screaming out ruins if she thought you needed to go any place He might be. 

Though really, where could you go? 

You couldn't go back. 

The only way was forward. 

God, please no. 

"But, I really must advise against that." Toriel started again. Leaning over, she gently placed her teacup onto a coffee table beside her chair. "The monsters are known to be hostile towards humans outside these ruins." Her voice was sad as she spoke. 

"So, please Miss. (Y/n). Why don't you stay here with me? Keep an old lady some company." Looking up, you saw Toriel was looking away her face already holding some type of expectancy. 

She thought you were going to say no. 

"I'd love to." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choosing between a Queen who was rumored to be cruel, ruthless, and half-mad in your timeline
> 
> Or 
> 
> Sans 
> 
> Psycho goat mama for the win


	4. Sweater filled with tears

"Toriel…?" You said hesitantly, still seated on the ground beside the chair. 

"Please Miss. (Y/n), call me Tori." The giant furred woman said warmly, taking another sip of her cooling tea. She had been overjoyed with the knowledge that you wanted to stay. 

"T-tori," You mumbled, nearly wincing as you said it. You never would have thought to be on a first name basis with the Queen of all monsters, and calling her by a nickname at that. "Um, I w-want to wash up… may I…?" Peeking up at Toriel, you relaxed just a bit at the gentle look on her face. 

"Of course my dear, I'll prepare you a towel and a change of clothes." Standing, Toriel pointed down a hall. "It is down that hall, right beside the room you had woken up in." 

You scurried to your feet as they carried you quickly to the bathroom. You had to be sure. You **needed **to be sure. 

Hands shaking as you reached the door, you opened it and quickly shut it behind you. You stood for a moment in complete darkness, until you finally found the courage to flip on the light switch. 

You saw yourself in the mirror. 

Sunken eyes, dark shadows underneath them, lines of stress etched into your skin. You looked horrible. 

Without wasting a second, you peeled off both your shirt and bra. The shirt smelled of vomit so you were glad to be rid of it. Though it was hard to remove with just one able hand. Looking at yourself in the mirror with wide eyes, you slowly turned around until your back came into view. 

As soon as it did, your legs buckled and you slid to the ground. Silent tears fell from your eyes. 

The scar was still there. 

It was supposed to be gone. 

**It was supposed to reset. **

Wrapping your good arm around your legs, you rocked yourself back and forth on the floor. In a vain attempt at comfort. 

Does that mean you were still _ used _? Disgusting both inside and out? 

The thought made your throat fill with bile and you feared you were gonna be sick again. You really hoped not. That soup Toriel had made was very pleasant. 

Trembling like a leaf, you made your way over to the shower, stripping off your pants and underwear as you did. When you got in, you turned the knob to hot water. It stung as it hit your skin and instantly made you feel better. 

As you washed, you found yourself scrubbing feverishly at your back. So much in fact, that some of the skin broke and started to bleed. You had ignored the pain and scrubbed harder, as if that could erase the memory or the scar. 

No, in truth, you probably just made it uglier. 

By the time you were done, your skin was tingling unpleasantly from the hot water, and a few trinkles of blood were flowing down your back. _ It made you feel sick. _

You dressed quickly, seeing Toriel had set out an outfit and towel while you showered. It unsettled you how you didn't even hear her come in. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you quickly realized the clothes you wore couldn't possibly be Toriel's. The sweater you wore, even though it hung down to your upper thigh, was far too short for the larger creature. Plus, this was a striped sweater, obviously made for some child. 

Picking nervously at a loose thread on the sweater, you jerked up the shorts as they kept creeping down past your hips. Why would Toriel have children's clothing? 

Did she have a child of her own? 

You tried in vain to remember but came up blank. When they Surfaced, there was no other goat like monster aside from the Queen and King. Certainly not a Prince or Princess at that.

Shaking your head roughly to rid yourself of those thoughts, you pushed open the door to head to the living room. It did you no good to think of the Toriel in your last timeline. You needed to get your bearings on _ this _Toriel. 

You really hoped she was as good and kind as she seemed. 

You _ desperately _hoped. 

"Oh." Toriel spoke, her paws reaching up to cover her mouth. You glanced up and were surprised to see tears swimming in her gaze. She hastily wiped at her eyes as you watched her warily. 

"My apologies Miss (Y/n), just those clothing belonged to my son when he was alive." Picking up a napkin, Toriel dabbed at her eyes. Her voice was thick with emotion. 

You felt your heart soften at that little bit of information. It must be terrible to lose your own child. In a way, you could understand what she was going through. 

"I'm sorry." You whispered earnestly. Swallowing what little pride you had left, you walked over to her and wrapped your shaking arms around her. You really hoped she wouldn't kill you. 

"I-I know ho-how you feel. My mom died… a long time ago. You never really get over that kind of thing." Your voice had softened, a note of sadness entering when you spoke about your mom. You were seven when she developed cancer, twelve when she died. It's been years, but the wound still felt as fresh as if it had happened yesterday. 

Letting out a soft sigh, Toriel shifted to embrace you as well, being mindful of your wrist of course. You relaxed in her hold, sighing against the soft cotton like texture of her fur. 

Relaxing against her, you let your eyes flutter shut as she held you. Humming softly to yourself, you let your hand move up and down on her shoulder, marveling at the softness of her fur. 

It was so comfortable you felt you could fall asleep right there. You probably would've fallen asleep if Toriel hadn't suddenly let out a loud gasp. Her hand suddenly pressed against your back, and you let out a sharp hiss as pain pulsed through one of the many spots you had rubbed open across your back. 

"My chi- Miss (Y/n), you're bleeding! Oh goodness, here let me tend to you." Toriel had turned you around before you had even realized it and was already started to inch the large shirt up. 

_ You couldn't let her see how tainted you were. _

You spun around, backing away and clutching at the shirt. "I can do it!" You all but yelled. Toriel looked surprised at your outburst, her eyebrows knitted together in mother like concern. 

It made your heart ache with longing for your own mother. 

"Please Miss (Y/n), the angle will be difficult for you to properly clean it." She reached for you yet again. 

And. Something. <strike>**_Snapped_**</strike>. 

"I said I got it!" You snarled, feeling an unfamiliar red hot anger flooding through you as you slapped the hand away. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me, you freak! You monster! Stay the hell away from me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Tears were streaming down your face. 

Why were you saying this to Tori? She was so gentle, so kind, so hopeful. 

Yet, you were feeling so angry. Every voice of reason was drowned out by that anger. It coursed through you, blocking everything out. 

All you saw was an angry scarlet as you turned on your heels and stormed back to the room Tori had so kindly given to you. 

Once the anger had finally faded, the guilt set in. 

You cried yourself to sleep that night.

*****

Toriel's ears pricked up, stiffening in the silence that the ring of your heartbreaking sobs had left. It seems you had finally fallen asleep. Her very SOUL ached for you. 

That anger in your eyes, that malice in your voice, Toriel had only known you for two days yet she already knew that wasn't you. The tears you had cried, for hours on end, when you had stormed off to the room, had been laced with guilt. 

Something had caused this, Toriel knew in the very depth of her SOUL you were a good person. Yes, you had attacked her and had said such heartbreaking things to her. Yet, it felt like that anger, though directed at her, wasn't because or even _ for _her. 

Sighing heavily, Toriel slumped in her chair. Rubbing her eyes with her furred paws, she kept her hand there to block out the light from lamp beside her. 

Something about you reminded her, horribly, of Chara. 

Chara had been deeply troubled. Acting out, hitting monsters, screaming, having all sorts of fits were common for the problematic child. Toriel had later learned that Chara had been severely abused by her 'family.' Sometimes there were certain things that would just set Chara off, there had also been things that had left them flinching and huddled in a corner. 

Chara had been beaten so often, their mind had been fixated on that abuse. Turning everything into either something to be angry about, or something to fear. 

The way you acted, it made Toriel wonder. 

Who on earth had hurt you so badly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can you start to love when your heart is filled with fear and hate?


	5. Waiting Game

Looking blankly up at the ceiling as you laid sprawled across the bed, your head turned slightly so you could peek at the door leading to the hallway. You had to apologise, it was the right thing to do. You had been laying in bed, having woken up an hour or two ago, mulling over your guilt. 

You had to, yet… you were so scared. So terrified. What if she was angry with you? What if she hurt you? Worse, what if she made you leave the ruins. Made you go straight back to Him.  _ _

You'd die before you did. She'd have to kill you first. 

That thought sent an uneasy chill down your spine. It wasn't the first time you had thought to escape Him through death. Yet for the first time in so long, you had tasted hope. You were reluctant to give it up just yet. 

Even if you had to grovel and beg, you had to stay in this house. To hell with pride. 

Suddenly determined, you quickly sat up in bed, still eyeing the door. Landing on your feet, you hurriedly made your way to the door, hand reaching for the doorknob. Your fingertips had just barely brushed it, when it turned. Letting out a small shriek, you darted back, falling onto your bottom. Eyes widening, you let yourself relax as the door pushed open to reveal Toriel. 

Of course it was Tori, who else were you expecting? 

"Oh Miss (Y/n)! I didn't mean to frighten you, are you alright?" Toriel took a step towards you, her hands reaching out. There must have been some kind of look in your eyes, because she hesitated before drawing back. Fiddling with her paws, she anxiously looked over your form. "Are you alright?" Toriel repeated her earlier question. 

"I'm fine." Came your whispered response. Guilt flooded through you as you saw how tired the goat monster looked. Had your words hurt her so much she hadn't been able to sleep last night? You prayed that wasn't the case. 

"Toriel-" You began, until she cleared her throat before giving you a look. Oh, right. "To-tori, I uh, I want to apologise f-for what I said yesterday-" 

"There is no need Miss (Y/n)," Toriel spoke, cutting you off as she took a seat on your bed. Far enough away for you to feel comfortable. "I will not ask what you have been through to have you react in such a way, but I will say that if you ever wish to speak about it… to seek me out. I am always here to talk to." 

Her warm and gentle smile is what broke you into tears. Could there possibly be someone so selfless and kind? Was this even real, or some sad attempt at escaping your horrid reality? Either way, you found yourself throwing your arms around a very surprised Tori, as you began sobbing your eyes out. She was so kind, so gentle. It made you wary just as much as it helped you relax around her. 

"I'm sorry," You sobbed. "I didn't mean it. You're so nice, so nice. I'm sorry, please don't make me leave." You were trembling in her gentle hold as she rocked you in her arms, making soft sounds of comfort. 

You wished you could stay with Toriel forever. 

<strike> You only stayed there for a week </strike>

*****

"ya know kid, i just don't get it." Letting loose a deep breath, Frisk turned around to face the skeleton. They knew this was coming, and they weren't sure he would believe the truth. They grimaced at the look of the tired skeleton before them.

"i though you were happy. we finally got our happy ending. you worked  _ so hard  _ for it too." Shuffling forwards, Sans the Skeleton, jammed his hands into the deep pockets of his jacket. Up on the Surface for five years and ripped away from it by some kid's curiosity. He was disappointed to say the least. 

"It wasn't us." Frisk protested, standing their ground. "Neither Chara or I caused the reset." Their fist hung at their side, shaking. They were confused, angry, sad, but most of all DETERMINED to find out why everything reset. 

Sans scoffed, his slippers kicking at the snow as he warily gazed up at the child. "you expect me to believe that? if not you two, than who? Flowey can't, not anymore." He could tell by the way their eyes closed and they pinched the bridge of their nose, that they were thinking really hard on that question. 

"A woman!" They burst out suddenly, eyes snapping open and causing Sans to jolt on the spot. "gonna have to say a little more than some woman." Sans said, his voice growing impatient. 

"We don't know who she is." Frisk snapped, their frustration growing. How could they not know that woman? Were you just a face in the crowd that Frisk never noticed before? It honestly felt like you just popped into existence out of nowhere. "But there was a woman who followed me up the mountain. She tried to stop me for some reason, said that I'd be killed." Frisk went silent, chewing on their lip. "Said that  _ they'll  _ kill me. It was like she knew about the monsters in the mountain. Or at least, knew _something _is in the mountain." 

Sans blew out a pent up huff of breath. He couldn't really tell if they were lying or not. The kid had an amazing poker face. Yet, he felt in his SOUL he could trust the kid this time. He just hoped that wouldn't come back to bite him in his non-existent ass. 

"alright kid, i suppose i'll believe you." Sans said, nodding at the child as he moved out of their way so they could get past. But Frisk didn't move. 

"I think," They said slowly, glancing off behind themselves. "I think she might have fallen too. I don't know why, it's just a feeling I have." 

Grimacing, Sans nodded his head. "alright kid, i'll keep an  _ eyesocket  _ on the door. see if the old lady talks about any other human falling. maybe she might even pass through the door like you." Ugh, more work for him. He could have used this time to be napping, but nothing he could do about it now. 

"i just really hope you're telling the truth." Sans said, shoulders sagging as Frisk began to walk away. "would really hate to give ya a  ** _bad time_ ** ." 

***** 

The last week with Toriel had been amazing. Confusing and sometimes frustrating, but amazing nonetheless. It was like a dream you didn't want to wake up from. You were terrified of it being a dream. If you did wake up, you would be back where you started. 

Sighing, you rolled over in your bed, eyes closed as you tried to fall back asleep. Toriel was going to teach you how to make a butterscotch cinnamon pie tomorrow, and you were excited to say the least. Her pies were amazing, always leaving you wanting for more. Yet, her food was always as sweet as her pies. Strangely enough you were starting to crave some vegetables in your diet.

Snickering at that thought, you rolled over onto your back, eyes finally snapping open. You just couldn't fall asleep. 

Eyes adjusting to the dark, you squinted at something that appeared to be hanging off your bedpost, nearly a foot away from your face. When you finally made out a familiar petaled face, you sat up with a gasp. Jumping out of bed, you rushed over to the light switch and flicked it on. 

Just as you had expected, Flowey's face glowered back at yours. He barred his teeth as soon as he saw the bright smile light up your face. Relief flooded through you at the sight of him, you had feared Toriel had harmed him badly. 

"Flowey-!" You started gleefully, but he was already darting away, his vines pulling him from his place among your bed to your door. He was gone before you could even react to his departure. You quickly hurried after him. 

"Flowey, where are you-? Please wait up!" You called out to him, stumbling your way through the dark hallway as he slithered his way towards the basement stairs. What on earth was he doing? Didn't he come here to see you? Why was he leaving so soon? 

"Flowey!" You cried out, darting down the stairs as quickly as you could without twisting an ankle. He didn't say a word as you followed him, only glancing behind himself a few times, as if making sure you were following. 

When you made your way to a large door, Flowey stopped just before it, his gaze on the door instead of you. Approaching him cautiously, you couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Flowey had tried to kill you after all. Yet, if that is truly what Flowey wanted from you, you didn't mind dying for him. Your SOUL could bring back his original form after all. 

"Flowey," You whispered softly, taking another step towards him. "Why did you bring me here?" 

"Past these doors is Snowden, do you know what's in Snowden, hmm~?" Flowey singsong voice echoed so suddenly across the empty room, you jumped. You nodded, finding yourself shaking as you heard the name of the familiar place. You had personally never been, but you knew who resided in that area. "H-him." You mumbled shakily, arms wrapping around to grip yourself. 

"Yup! And it's been so dreadfully boring with you playing house with mo- that goat~ so how's about we move on human? Let's play the game properly now." Flowey sang, sending a cheerful wink your way. You laughed nervously, taking another step back. 

"N-no, I can't Flowey. I-I really can't. That's the one thing I ask you don't ask of me." The one thing you couldn't do, even for Flowey. You were a coward, unable to face Him even for the ones you love. 

"That's the thing human," Flowey said, face twisting into an ugly nasty sneer as his vines exploded out of the ground. They began creeping towards you, one of them already working to open up the doors. You stared with wide terrified eyes, unable to move as fear held you in place. " **I wasn't asking!** " 


	6. Meeting Again

No, no

No

No 

No 

No 

**No! **

You could- this couldn't- why was this happening to you? What have you ever done to deserve this? 

** _You got Flowey killed of course_ ** . 

Your forehead landed painfully against the door, as you leaned against, your pants damp from the snow you were sitting in. Your hand, the one that had healed surprisingly fast at Toriel's, was still rapping against the door. It was completely useless though. 

After Flowey had tossed you out of the Ruins and slammed shut the door, you had pounded away at the door, screaming for Toriel, Flowey, anyone really, to come open up the door. But sadly…  ** _nobody came. _ ** Your voice had gone hoarse from screaming, and it ached terribly. You had to leave, you had to leave  **now. **

Hearing the snow crunch softly behind you, you whirled around, mouth gaped open to let out a soft squeak of fear. Half turned, your shoulders sagged at the sight of a Froggit. It gazed at you curiously, head tilted to the side. Thank god, it wasn't Him. 

Your relief was short lived though, as you felt the familiar grip around your SOUL. You were being dragged into an Encounter. Hands reaching up, you desperately tried to push your SOUL back into your body before the Froggit could draw it out further. Looking up at the small monster, your mouth popped open to begin begging it to return your SOUL back to its place. 

Yet, every thought flew out of your mind as you saw another figure approaching from way off down the path. A very  _ familiar  _ figure. 

A sharp shrill sound left your mouth, seemingly surprising the Froggit. Your eyes zeroed back onto the Froggit, a new wave of terrified desperate washing over you. 

"Please, please, please, please let me go, please Froggit, please, please. I need to- I need to leave. I need to go now, please please please." Your words came out fast and jumbled, your SOUL floating gently and calmly in front of you. Unaware of the horror that was coming towards them. You were shaking and breathing erratically. So strong was your fear that for a brief moment you felt your vision waiver. 

Tilting its head to the other side Froggit gently croaked "Ribbit?" Blinking once, the Froggit took in your sight before releasing your SOUL from the Encounter. 

***Froggit didn't understand what you said, but could sense your desperate anyways **

Finally released from it's magic, you forced your SOUL back into your chest so fast it physically hurt. There was no relief, only panic as you felt and smelled the horrifying presence of His magic. You were so overwhelmed with fear, you could only look down at your shaky hands, splayed out on the snowy ground in front of you. He was standing directly in front of you. 

"ha, guess the kid was telling the truth." 

You lost control of your bladder as you heard his voice, unable to stop yourself from pissing yourself. A small part of you was mortified you had done that, yet most of you was too utterly locked in your own fear to notice. 

He had seen your SOUL, you were sure of. And even if Toriel and Flowey didn't remember you, you  _ knew  _ He never forgets.

*****

Sans had seen the human's SOUL, and this made things even more tangled than they already were. You were his SOULmate,  _ his  _ SOULmate. This made everything seem brighter and better in Sans' mind. 

But there was something  **off ** about this. In all the Resets, there was never a human after Frisk. So why now? Why after a Reset Frisk said they didn't do, did you, his SOULmate, show up! It made him just a little wary of you. Wary of why you were here.

His nose picked up a sharp scent, and his eyes flashed down to see a wet spot spread across your pants. You seemed to have soiled yourself. Grimacing, Sans crouched down beside you, looking over your small trembling figure. Geez, had Froggit really scared you so badly? Could it have been your first Encounter? 

"hey, you alright?" Sans asked, shifting closer to you. You didn't respond. 

"ha, come on. say something. throw me a  _ bone  _ here." He was hoping a light joke would get you to calm down. Once you did, he'd take you home, explain the whole SOULmate thing, and ask you how you ended up here. Leaning forwards, Sans tried to get a peek at your face. He had seen it from a distance, but really wanted to see a close up view. 

Sans got more than he bargained for when you suddenly sprang up, arms outstretched and pushing against Sans. He toppled over into the snow, just barely catching the look in your eyes before you darted off into the forest. There was a thick cloud of fear and hate in those eyes. 

*****

You were running blind, and you couldn't care less. Anywhere was fine, nowhere was fine,  _ death  _ was fine so long as it got you away from Him. That horrible, disgusting, terrifying monster. You didn't realize you had been holding your breath until you took a wild gasp as you sprinted past the tree line. It was a lost cause of course, He was always so much faster. 

"Oh god, oh please, please no!" You sobbed, nearly silently to yourself, as you darted between all the snow-lined trees. Your hands had gone numb from the cold and the only thing keeping your frozen legs running was the pure adrenaline coursing through you. Soon enough though, even that wouldn't be enough to keep you going. 

"Ahh!" Letting out a sharp yelp, your ankle caught on a root poking out from the ground. There was a loud popping sound as you fell to the ground. It took a moment for the pain to register in your brain, but when it did you let out a whimper as hot white pain shot through your ankle. 

But this would be nothing compared to what would happen if He got his hands on you, so you staggered back onto your legs. Hopping one-legged across the snow, you bit your lip so hard it started bleeding as you jarred the injured ankle. Thankfully, the trees were close enough to use as support as you moved between each one. 

Trekking on, you knew it was a hopeless journey. Yet, you couldn't stop your heart from dropping as you hopped past another tree and saw the monster of your nightmares appear out of thin air. Gasping loudly, you attempted to backtrack but all that lead to was your one good leg twisting around itself. Your arms pinwheeled, trying to keep yourself upright in vain. 

You fell, bashing your head on the trunk of a tree and falling into a blissful state of unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times had Reader been hurt and fell unconscious now? Probably more than you think! 
> 
> ...
> 
> That's a sad thought :(


	7. Panicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author-chan is so so so sorry for the wait ;3;   
And is even sorrier that you must wait even more for more updates >~< 
> 
> I've never had any problem with sleeping, but now it seems I'm an insomniac. I've only gotten, at most, two hours a night of sleep for these past two weeks. My brain is fuzzy and it's hard to dreg up the energy and focus to write. I'm trying some medicine that should help me sleep, but in the meantime I won't be able to update on any of my stories :(

Your head hurt, horribly. Groaning, you rolled onto your side and pressed both hands to your throbbing head. Your fingers bunched in your hair, matted with what you assumed was blood. Ugh, your ankle too. What… happened? 

It hurt too much to think about it, so you laid there still and silent, waiting for the aching to dull. Once it did, you finally became aware that you weren't lying on a bed. You felt soft carpet cushioning your body though as you finally peeled up your eyes. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at the familiar outlay of the room. You had never been in this room, yet it was just like that damnable place He had. Disgustingly messy and reeking of His magic. Were you back where you started? 

You started shaking. You wished that blow to your head had killed. If you were just going to end up back here, you should have just died. Legs tangled up in a bundle of blankets, you kicked and struggled out of them, panicking at how close you were to His bed. Biting your lip to ignore the horrible pain throbbing through your ankle, you scooted away. 

Yanking up your shirt, your hand ran up and down your stomach and chest, checking for new bruises and marks, all the way around to your back as well. None. Next, you pressed your hand against your inner thighs and up against your crotch. There was no pain, luckily. Yet, as you did that quick examination of your body, you noticed you weren't in the same close you had left the ruins in. Shuttering, you scooted until your back was against the wall, wrapping your arms around your legs. 

The door opened and you flinched away, heart thudding helplessly away in your chest. Your eyes flickered up and you began to tremble. It was him, he had you yet again in his grasp. Sure, the skeleton looked different this time around. His bones weren't nicked with countless scares and his jacket was blue instead of that dreadful red color. 

It didn't matter though. You could paint trash however you wanted and it would still smell the same. 

"sorry i gave you a scare earlier, kid." He spoke, his hand coming up to rest against the back of his neck. Eyes locked to his movements, you noticed his usual finely tipped claws were dulled. " _ tiba _ honest, i got a little ahead of myself." 

Taking a step closer towards you, you stiffened against the wall, attempting to squeeze yourself further into the solid wood. Holding out his hand, he gave you a big doopy grin. "name's <strike>sans</strike>, <strike>sans</strike> the skeleton." 

Ah

No

That 

Is- 

That's

A

Bad

Word 

A sharp whimper broke through your throat and you pressed the palm of your hands flat against your ears. Bad word. Bad word. Bad word. Bad word. You felt bile threatening to rise up from your throat but held it down. He would surely be pissed if you puked everywhere. He was surely pissed now. 

"woah, calm down kiddo. not gonna hurt you." He said softly, a bluish looking sweat forming at the base of his skull. Hurt you? No, he'd do far worse than hurt you. But never kill you, no no, that would be too merciful. 

"<strike>SANS</strike>!" Bad word, bad word, bad word "IS YOUR HUMAN MATE AWAKE YET?" An achingly familiar skeleton head poked his way into the room before scrunching his non-existent nose at the mess. Sweat forming even more on his skull, he let out a nervous chuckle. "uh paps, i um haven't told her yet. s-so, it's not set in stone." Sending a wink your way. "or should i say, set in bone?" 

Letting out a loud annoyed groaned, Papyrus began stamping his foot against the ground, yet quickly snapped to attention as you slowly rose up from the ground. Steadying yourself against the wall, you hobbled over to the taller skeleton. Hopping past that nightmare skeleton was nerve wracking in itself, but it was worth it to wrap your arms around Papyrus. You used his taller form to lean on as you mumbled his name over and over again. 

Papyrus was cold, full of himself, and ruthless. But, he was always gentle when you needed it the most and kind when it mattered. Papyrus was the only one, besides Flowey, to ever show you MERCY. 

*****

Sans wasn't jealous of the way you went to his brother. No, he was confused and concerned. You had acted like the world had ended when you laid eyes on him, and now you were snuggling a very confused looking Papyrus. How did you- how did you know Paps name? 

Had they met you before? No, surely even Sans would remember meeting his own SOULmate. You acted like it though. You acted like you knew him, knew Papyrus too. 

"SANS…?" The way you flinched at his name didn't go unnoticed by Sans. You were certainly a mystery. A confusing one at that. "IS THE HUMAN ALRIGHT?" Papyrus was timidly patting your head. Your arms tighten around him, whimpering fearfully. "Please don't- please don't let him hurt me. I'm sorry, just please- I'm sorry." Your voice shook as you spoke, burying your face against Papyrus so Sans couldn't see your expression. 

Hurt you..? What?! 

"HURT YOU HUMAN?! NOW WHILE WE WOULD USUALLY TAKE YOU TO UNDYNE, AS YOU ARE MY BROTHER'S SOULMATE, WE WOULD NOT DREAM OF HURTING YOU." Papyrus patted your head again, this time accidently ruffling up your hair. "YOU NEED NOT BE SO AFRAID OF SANS. WHILE HE IS LAZY, MESSY, AND DREADFULLY  _ UN _ -PUNNY, HE IS A VERY KIND-HEARTED MONSTER. IF YOU WERE TO CHOOSE HIM AS A MATE, YOU WOULD SURELY NOT REGRET IT!" 

Sans was beginning to blush with how much his brother was praising him. Especially in front of you, gosh you probably thought he was pretty dorky now. Yet, you were looking up at Papyrus with a dumbfounded look on your face. Eyes flickering quickly over to Sans before gapping back up at Papyrus. 

"Ch-choose?" You whispered breathlessly. "I-I get a-a choice?" You reached up a hand as you wobbled unsteadily, grabbing hold of Papyrus' arm. 

"of course kid." Sans blurted out, surprised at the question. And a little bit offended too. "we are not too keen on forcing those things. we're not wild animals." The thought kind of discouraged him. Did you think monsters were animals or something?... Sans guessed he could kind of understand, considering that you have probably had your share of Encounters already. Monsters didn't like violence, but they were all desperate to see the stars. 

It was even worse for him, having already experienced the world above. 

You let out a wild gasp, pressing your cheek against Papyrus. Since he first saw you, he saw the very first smile rest across your lips as you closed your eyes. You looked happy and pleased, even letting out a low humming sound. Sans nearly chuckled as relief seemed to take you over. Now if you weren't so scared of him forcing your hand, then he could woo you properly. Sans was excited to say the least. Even in the short amount of time he knew you, he was already convinced you were perfect for him. It was probably mostly to due with the fact you were his SOULmate, but still. 

"In that case," You said softly, dreamily, breaking Sans out of his thoughts. "I'd rather you just kill me Papyrus." 

Ha...haha… 

** _What?! _ **


	8. Disgusting thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author-chan has accidentally fell into the dead world of Homestuck   
Send help immediately

You would miss Toriel, and certainly Flowey as well, but you were already in his grasp. If the opportunity came for death, you would surely take it. At least this way, Frisk wouldn't have to die. At least you got to pretend you helped someone. 

You ignored the fact that once they were free they would wreak havoc above ground. You ignored it because you were too tired. You fought for so long and never made any progress. All it got you was pain and more pain. Didn't you deserve a rest too? A rest through death was sounding more and more pleasant. It could happen now too, you were given a  **choice. **

Him or death. 

Of course you would pick to die! Surely he didn't think you actually cared about him. Somewhere in that twisted skull of his you guessed that his idea of love was tormented. 

Oh god, oh no. You let out a whimper, panic rising in you as you felt a sort of pressure incase your SOUL. Your hands grabbed ahold of Papyrus, practically clawing at the skeleton to find some sort of purchase to hold on to. Yet, to no avail as you were slung from his side and halfway across the room. Then set gently, more gently than you thought was capable of the beast, on the bed. 

"stars kid, no one's dying ok?" Sans said, a look of alarm in his eyelights as he turned towards you. 

With an undignified squeak, you threw yourself backwards, off the disgusting bed you sat in. Your head clashed against the wall as you bolted away, but you ignored it as you pressed yourself up against the wall. Adrenaline ran through you, making forget about the pain in your ankle. 

Papyrus had lied…? 

Why, why would he lie? Papyrus didn't lie to captured humans. He thought it was beneath him. So why was he lying to you now? He gave you a choice! You had choose death!

Someone was not abiding by your choice. 

"Liar." You mumbled as your eyes locked onto Papyrus. He was going to make you live through this? Was he just as cruel and heartless as his brother? Your lip started trembling as an overwhelming sort of disappointment flooded through you. "Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar." You breathed the word over and over again, back sliding down the wall until your rear sat on the carpeted floor. 

Seeing the shorter monster's hand reach out towards you, a look of fake concern in his eyelights, your hand reached up and scraped along your cheek. Your  ** _disgusting _ ** cheek. He had touched that. He had touched everything. He had made  _ everything  _ disgusting, both inside and out. Again, your short fingernails scraped along your cheek, down to your neck. 

You had to get it off you. Everything was disgusting. He had touched your skin,  **you had to get it off. ** Now both hands were clawing at yourself. Your cheek, your neck, your arms, everything was so  ** _disgusting. _ **

Something reached out and touched you. It was disgusting too. You clawed at it, a high pitched sound ringing through your ear, making you feel dizzy. You wanted it to stop. It took you a moment to realize that sound was you screaming. The thing touching you went away, but now you couldn't more your arms. 

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

You had to get the disgusting stuff off of you, you had to. Had to had to had to had to had to had to had to had to had to. 

The keening sound of your screaming grew even more desperate as you thrashed around, trying to rid yourself of whatever held your arms. Your thrashing lead you to jolting your foot against the wall and you gagged at the pain it shot through you. Yet you kept struggling and screaming. 

You had no idea how long, minutes, hours? The only reason you stopped was when you had exhausted yourself to the point of near unconsciousness. When your keening finally stopped altogether, you stared blankly at a thread poking out from the carpet. You made one last hopeless attempt at tugging whatever held your arms bound, when nothing came of that you rolled over with a groan, eyes fluttering shut as exhaustion took over. 

*****

"um hey kid. uh well, you've been sleeping pretty hard. hard as a rock actually. you hungry?" 

Sucking in a sharp inhale, your eyes snapped open to lock on him. Small twinges of pain prickled your face, neck, and arms. Had he…? Did he-? No… no, that had been you, hadn't it. Things were blurry, but you remembered clawing at your skin. You had been desperate to peel it off, which scared the shit out of you honestly. 

"geez, guess i woke you. you hungry?" The shorter skeleton asked again, your eyes suddenly latching on to him. You caught sight of a plate, a hotdog on it, before you looked away from him. Letting out a soft huff, you tried sitting up. It was difficult with your hands behind your back. 

You managed though, taking note of your ankle as you leaned against the wall. It wasn't as dreadfully painful. Had your popped it back into place? Not that you remembered that happening. And you certainly hadn't put it in a tight and slightly uncomfortable cast. "Papyrus?" You mumbled, eyes flickering across the room, looking for him. 

Your heart sank as you didn't see skull nor tailbone of him. It was only the disgusting monster. 

"oh paps, look kid" He let out a hard breath, setting the plate down as he knelt at your level. Your heart rammed in your chest, eyes watching him warily. "you got to understand why i'm a bit worried about letting him around you again." 

Huh? What did he mean? 

Seeing the confusion in your eyes, the skeleton rocked back on his heels before sitting down across from you. "yeah, uh, you attacked him yesterday. remember?" You immediately felt guilty and sick. He was lying, he had to! You would never hurt Papyrus… rig-right? "he's fine though!" The skeleton said quickly, as if noticing the look on your face. "only dealt him 3 HP damage. he's already healed up!" 

It made you mad that his cheerful voice, or rather what he said with that voice, did make you feel better. You would have hated yourself even more if you had truly hurt Papyrus. He was one of the few monsters that you could trust. Slumping against the wall, you started to recall bits and pieces of what happened yesterday. Then again, Papyrus did lie to you. Promising a sort of freedom and ripping it away. 

You didn't think he could ever be so cruel. Were you wrong about him. Tears pricked your eyes and you sniffled pathetically. "Papyrus." You said, voice trembling. "he-hey, don't cry now. i said he was fine, he's totally fine." Panic was entering his voice as tears started falling down your cheeks. 

Acting like he was freaking out over some tears. Like he hadn't seen you sob yourself to sleep plenty of times. What a fucking hypocrite. 

"Papyrus." His name left your lips yet again as a sob burst its way through. As soon as his name left your lips though, his head popped into the doorway, causing both you and the shorter skeleton to jump. "Papyrus." You breathed, a strange mix of relief and sadness flooding through you. 

"HELLO HUMAN, ARE YOU FEELING BETTER TODAY? YOU WERE ACTING VERY STRANGELY THE OTHER DAY." Walking over, he crouched beside the other skeleton, still towering over you. Struggling against your bound arms, you managed to throw yourself into the very surprised skeletons arms. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" You blubbered, tears blurring your vision. 

Letting out a soft hum, you felt Papyrus' gentle hand petting your head. You, of course, noticed that the other skeleton had already gotten up and left the room. Good riddance. "I AM PERFECTLY FINE HUMAN! BUT I AM MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE ACTING VERY STRANGELY." Seemingly noticing the hotdog left behind, Papyrus picked it up as if he were holding a live snake. "I PRESUME THIS GREASY THING IS FOR YOU? ARE YOU HUNGRY HUMAN? YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME, I WOULD HAVE PREPARED YOU THE MOST DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI EVER!" 

Letting out a soft huff of laughter, you nodded your head, looking up at Papyrus with smiling eyes. At least for a moment, you could pretend to be happy here with Papyrus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader's mind was kinda fucked up by Red


	9. Oh no

You laid stiff and unmoving against the floor, curled up facing the wall and as far from the bed as you could be. Moments continued to tick by while your shallow breath broke the silence of the air around you. Papyrus had stayed with you all day, feeding you, talking with you, helping you to the bathroom, and just being there for you. He had only left when a loud yawn parted his jaws open. Claiming it was time to sleep and disappeared out of sight. Leaving you in <strike>Sans</strike>' room, defenseless for him to take advantage of.

Your arms had long since gone numb from their position behind your back, but it hardly matter. You had been through much worse. Although you liked to think you were fairly numb to it all, you still flinched when you heard Sans enter the room. You were still as weak as before. Weak weak weak weak weak weak weak. Your teeth clamped down harshly against your cheek, trying to force away the self-loathing. You needed to focus. Maybe. Maybe he would ignore you? Maybe he had a long day and just wanted to go to sleep.

Your hopes were quickly dashed as you felt, rather than heard, him move closer to you. You ground your teeth together as you felt his skeletal fingers brush across your wrists. A whimper forced its way through your throat as fear started to take over. It was going to hurt so much tonight. He would certainly make sure of that. It's been so long since you hadn't woken up sore and used every morning. And now that was being ripped away from you all over again.

Surprisingly, instead of dragging you over to the bed like you thought he was planning to do, <strike>Sans</strike> instead started untying the bounds that held your wrists. As soon as they were free, you jerked up and whirled around, hands to your chest in a defensive manner. <strike>Sans</strike> was already scooting back, his hands held up in the air as if to say 'I'm harmless.' Yeah fucking right. You shuddered violently as he turned his eyelights to you, your gaze flickered away as his crinkled in confusion.

"look kid, i'll take the couch okay." He said, shifting so he could stand. Your head snapped back over to him, confusion and fear mingle together in your gaze. "get some rest alright? i wanna talk to you about something. you're not the only one confused about this whole ordeal." He quickly made his way across the room, before exciting and closing the door behind him. Confused? What was he confused about? Why you escaped? How you escaped? You thought for sure he would have asked Alphys about your disappearance. But the timeline reset, so she wouldn't have any memories of 'helping' you.

A groan slipped past your lips as you leaned back against the wall, arms wrapped around your legs. The floor was padded well enough with carpet so as to not be so cold. Sleeping here was the better option, and the only one you allowed yourself to accept. You stretched out both your legs, careful of the aching ankle as you stayed upright against the wall, facing the door. Even if it were pointless, you still want to be prepared in case he changes his mind. You sat up against the wall, stiff, for hours. Until your tired eyes slowly began drifting close.

*****

"so… let's go over this again why don't we." Shifting to rest both hands against the back of the chair, a skull leaned forward until it's pointed teeth were nearly pressed against the scaled woman's ear. His fingers scraped harshly against the chair, causing the lizard woman's face to betray the slightest bit of fear. She quickly corrected it though, settling back into her blank staring at the room around her.

"ya were the last one with my little bitch weren't ya?" A blast of hot breath tickled the side of the woman's face, bringing with it the coppery scent of blood and dust. "Correct Sans. Good for you for remembering small details like that." The woman purred, a sly grin gracing her face as she imagined his annoyance flaring up at her remark. Instead, she was surprised to hear him let out a small huff of laughter as he leaned away, crossing around to sit on the table in front of her.

"that's what i like about ya alp. always know how to make a guy laugh when he's down in the dumps." Sans chuckled, a small, sharp bone appearing out of thin air in his hand. Alphys stiffened at the sight of it, but all he did was fiddle with it in his hands. Casting his red eyelights back to her, his smile widen. "so, tell me again what happened that day."

Hunching slightly in her chair, Alphys almost felt like screaming. She had gone over the story with the bastard over and over again and he still hadn't let up. Sure, the whole thing was a fucking lie, but he didn't know that. "We've been over this." She hissed, clawed fingers digging at the table in front of her. How much longer would this dick keep her here? She sure as hell wasn't looking to replace his lost toy.

"I was doing her weekly checkup as usual, making sure she was healthy and healing any grave injuries her lovely significant other gave her." Alphys pointedly smiled at Sans, watching in delight as that caused his smile to falter just a smidge. "I guess I have gotten to comfortably with the girl. It's been, what, three years since she's actually tried to put up a fight. I didn't think she had anymore fight left in her in all honesty." An impatient growl cut Alphys off, as if Sans was telling her to get to the point. "Anyways, the girl took me by surprise, smashed something over my head, snatched my keys, and took off." Alphys had went to such extents to make the story believable. Even going so far as to giving herself a head injury. Sans surely couldn't fault her if his precious SOULmate was the cause of the problem.

"really? she got the jump on ya huh? pretty pathetic if ya ask me." Alphys sneered up at Sans as he mocked her. "so tell me lizard bitch. why is it that i can't feel my little sweetheart anymore, huh?" Sans' hand subconsciously reached up to his chest, where that empty feeling laid just beneath his bones.

"She must be dead then." Alphys said, shrugging her shoulder as she looked away. Her eyes immediately snapped back as Sans swung the bone knife down, piercing one of her clawed fingers. She stiffened, a sharp groan echoing through her throat, yet Alphys refused to open her mouth to scream. She wouldn't give this bastard the satisfaction. "you know as well as i do" Sans snarled, leaning closer as he twisted the knife imbedded in her finger. A sharp hiss sprung unwillingly from Alphys lips. "if she were dead, i'd be too. she ain't fucking dead. she's gone, and ya did something ta fuck up my SOULmark didn't ya?!"

With a swift slice, off came Alphys finger, immediately turning into a pile of dust as she jerked her hand away and cradled it to her chest. Barring her sharp teeth at Sans, Alphys let out an enraged snarl. Which was cut off way too soon as Sans held up a small little baggie. Inside the bag was a familiar whisp of dark ginger locks. Her throat dried up as Sans mockingly wiggled the bag around.

"Yo-you can't kill her." Alphys stammered out, her neck breaking out into a cold sweat. "You'll ne-never get anything out of me i-if you do, because I'll di-die too." Once you kill someone's SOULmate, it was only a matter of time before they died as well. Alphys almost wished you had died on your little "reset" if it only meant this fat bastard would go down with you.

"yea, yea, do ya know why they die though alp? huh, come on, yer suppose ta be the smart one here. looks like i'll have ta be the teacher fer today." Sans chuckled, his eyes glinting with malice at the smaller quivering lizard before him. "once a SOULmate dies, it's bonded pair experiences such excruciating pain, they eventually lose the will ta live. either they off themself or wither away until they die. but!" Sans smile sharpened, suddenly looking very excited.

"what if someone were ta say, keep em alive alp? force feed em, tie em up so they don't kill themself, make them life through the pain? dontcha think it can be done? say, wanna do an experiment?" Alphys was quickly finding she couldn't breath at the pace she needed. He was crazy. Absolutely crazy. "Yo-you wouldn't." She gasped out, her SOUL racing in her chest. "sure would." Sans chuckled. "ya'd be so ready fer death, ya'd tell me everything ya know just fer me ta kill ya."

Clenching her clawed fingers, sadly noticing the lack of one digit, Alphys face twisted in disgust. He had backed her into a wall. There was no way of Alphys getting out of this if she didn't comply. Hell, even then he would still probably kill her. "Fine." Alphys spat out, her teeth clenching against one another in barely surpressed frustration.

"I'll tell you where I sent your little bitch to."


	10. Unbroken Promises

You couldn't stop shifting in the chair, twice now you had accidentally jarred your ankle on the chair leg, but you couldn't stop. Refusing to meet <strike>Sans</strike> gaze, you instead focused all your attention on the door just past his shoulders. The door Papyrus had exited ten minutes ago. The door that lead outside. It was only just across the room, you could get to it in five seconds if you hobbled quickly. But it might as well be clear across Waterfall, because with <strike>Sans</strike> watching you like a hawk there was no way you could clear that and get outside without being stopped by his infuriating and terrifying magic. 

"kid," Your gaze was unwillingly ripped away from the door as you glanced at <strike>Sans</strike>. He was looking straight at you, jaw resting in the palm of his hand. You flinched at his intense gaze and immediately found something else to look at. Wow, the floor sure was interesting. "you're uh, real scared of me aren't you?" 

Your jaw ached at how tightly you clenched your teeth together. Was he being aloof on purpose? How long was he going to act like he wasn't aware. <strike>Sans</strike> couldn't have forgotten.  ** _He never forgets. _ ** Your stomach rolled with discomfort at the tension seemed to thicken the air as your silence stretched out. A sigh cut through the uncomfortable silence and you dared a peek at the monster that haunted both your dreams and waking world. Thankfully, <strike>Sans</strike> was gazing away from you, seemingly lost in thought. 

"look, ….?" He left his sentence hanging out there, gesturing a hand towards you. Again, you remained silent. "i don't wanna call you kid this whole time, makes me feel kinda weird since we're SOULma-" You shuddered so violently at that disgusting word, he cut himself off. "since, you know. so, could i get a name." You frowned at the floor, squirming uncomfortably in the chair. Was he… was he serious? "(Y/n.)" You mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. 

"(Y/n?) huh, cute name. well, you already seemingly know me. anyways, let's just dive right into this okay?" You nodded, heart sinking as you prepared yourself for the list of demands he would make from you. What you, as his SOULmate, were expected to do for him. 

"i don't think i'm who you think i am." 

Those… were not the words you expected him to say. Tilting your head, you couldn't help but give him a confused glance. Where was he going with this…? Leaning back in his chair, <strike>Sans</strike> gave a long drawn out sigh, his eyelights on the ceiling above. He looked troubled. 

"do you know about alternate universes?" He asked, eyes still locked on the ceiling above. You gave a wary nod, still unsure where he was going with this. And even though <strike>Sans</strike> wasn't looking to see you nod, he continued. "basically, there's our universe. to us, it's the one and only universe. but that's not exactly true." You face crinkled in confusion. "my dad studied the alternate universes, he always tried in vain to find some way across to another universe. basically, in each version of the universe, there is always something different. whether big or small." He finally looked over at you and the confusion flitting across your face. "such differences could… include me. a version of myself that's cruel to his mate." A light suddenly flickered in your eyes and you let out a soft strangled gasp. "what i'm trying to say is, i'm not the sans you know. from the way you react to me, i can guarantee i'm completely different." 

He shifted in his chair, his smile tugging downward as he clenched his fist against his lap. "i would- i would never hurt you." <strike>Sans</strike> dared a look up at you, to find you were blankly looking at your lap. Could you trust his words? He was lying right? He wouldn't hurt you. This was all a trick. You could finally be free. To trap you into some messed up thing. When he had given you a choice, he had actually  _ given you a choice.  _

Could you- could you really say no? A shiver ran throughout your whole body, as you wrapped your arms around yourself. He was lying. But if he wasn't? You couldn't help to have hope swell up inside your chest. You stood up, knocking your chair back, but keeping the weight off your injured. <strike>Sans</strike> stiffened in his chair as you nervously swallowed the lump in your throat. 

"Tell…. Tell me to do something." It came out as a whisper, but still <strike>Sans</strike> jumped as if you yelled. He gave you a puzzled look and didn't respond. Anger flared up in your chest and you clenched your teeth so hard, they  _ ached.  _ "Tell me to do something." You hissed out through your clenched teeth, fingernails biting into the palm of your hand. He looked taken aback by your request, but hesitantly gave you an uncertain smile. "uh, maybe you should sit down kiddo?" 

"No." The word burst out of your mouth in a garbled rush. Just two simple letters, one little syllable, and it had your head spinning with a mix of fear and crazed delight. "No no no, you fuckass!" You giggled hysterically, clamping a hand over your mouth as you still mumbled that beautiful word. Huh, wait, why were you crying? There were big fat tears rolling down your cheeks in streams. Another giggle cut off into a sob as you stumbled back. "whoa, hey. you okay?" <strike>Sans</strike> was suddenly behind you, a hand laying gently on your shoulder. 

No 

That's 

** _Stop that _ **

** _Get it off_ **

** _Get it off get it off _ **

** _Off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off_ **

A snarl ripped it's way from your mouth as you jerked away, your shoulder tingling with disgusted waves. You turned around, eyes locked on <strike>Sans</strike>. He flinched at the pure and utter hate flowing through your eyes. That small rational part of yourself, tried to remind you that this  _ wasn't him,  _ but it was quickly swallowed up by the rage. You struck out at him, fist crashing blindly and wildly through the air. 

_ You missed  _

Turning around, you spotted him again. His hands were splayed out and he was saying something you couldn't hear. The sound of rushing blood was all you could hear. You leapt at him, barely noticing the twinge of pain in your ankle as you swung at him again. And missed,  _ again.  _ You jerked around the room, mouth twisted into a sneer as you found <strike>Sans</strike>' wide eyelights gazing back at you. He was still trying to talk to you, but you couldn't hear. 

You swung

<strike> Please stop </strike>

You missed

You swung 

<strike> He wasn't trying to hurt you </strike>

You missed

You swung

<strike> He's not  _ him _ </strike>

You missed

You missed

You missed you missed you missed you missed you missed 

You finally stopped, only when the adrenaline racing through your anger fueled veins stopped as well. Leaning against the wall, you gasped for breath as sweat poured down your forehead. Your lungs burned and your heart was racing a mile a minute. Why had you-? That couldn't- That was unfair to him. Why had you done that? "I'm sorry." You croaked out, sliding down the wall to sit, too exhausted to even cry. The throbbing of your ankle reminded you of its' pain, but you were too tired. You mumbled an apology once more, before self-loathing and exhaustion wrapped you up and dragged you into an uneasy sleep. 

*****

Sans watched your head bob forward, as your eyes fluttered closed. Soon the soft sounds of your snores drifted through the living room. Sans watched, his own skull dripping with sweat as well, his jaw working to open and close, shock clear in his eyelights. What… had just happened? An hour and a half must have gone by with you attacking him over and over again. Sans wiped the back of his hand along his skull, casting a wary gaze at you. You were sound asleep. 

Crouching down, Sans kept a good foot away as he looked you over. His face crinkled into concern, wanting to pick you up and carry you to the couch, but he didn't want to risk you panicking like that again. It was like something had possessed you, and disgust and hate in your eyes was something Sans  ** _never _ ** wanted to see directed towards him ever again. So he settled for grabbing a blanket and draping it across your slumbering form. Sans was quickly becoming more and more convinced on his theory of a different AU the longer he spent around you. 

You had simply exploded with relief and fear when you told him  _ no.  _ What kind of world did you come from, where you held so much hate and fear for  _ him.  _ Sans' hand reached out, wanting to brush the hair sticking to your wet forehead away, but jerked his hand back before he could. Sans glanced at you longingly. He had only known you for a few days, but the knowledge of knowing you were his SOULmate made him want to help and protect you. 

Even if… you rejected him. Sans could accept that, but he couldn't accept the idea of you being in this kind of pain again. He would help you, no matter what. And that was a  **promise. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the last outburst we'll see from Reader 😔 she's been through a lot 
> 
> Also, I wonder why Reader hates Sans name so much 🤔🤔🤔 hmmmmh


	11. Two-sided Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE! 🎉🎊🥂  
NEW YEAR, NEW ME! 
> 
> Meaning I'm assuming a different identify and moving across States 
> 
> From now on Author-chan doesn't against, you will refer to me as.... Fuck, what's a good code name?

Shifting the floorboard just the slightest, Flowey shimmied his way into the room. Gazing around in the dark, he squinted as he tried to make things out. It had taken him a week to finally track down where that fat bastard took you, and then a full day to tunnel his way into the place. "(Y/n?)" Flowey called out softly, ready to bolt at any given moment if Sans appeared. 

A moment of silence flowed through the room, and Flowey was about to call out your name again when he heard shifting from one of the corners of the room. He stiffened, a light flaring to life and momentarily blinding him. Flowey was just poking his head back under the floorboard when he caught sight of you. "(Y/n.)" He breathed, relief clear in his tone. That was until he saw the way you held the blanket to your body. You were shirtless. Flowey stiffened once more, about to dive straight out of there when you held up a hand, your eyes begging him to stay. 

"Wait wait! Flowey, He's not here. I promise." Your voice was shaky and cracked, as if you were unused to talking. Flowey hesitantly glanced around the room. Not that he would ever think you would lie to him, it was more or less out of habit. "Why- why are you shirtless?" He asked nervously, drawing himself closer to you. It was strange how passive you were being right now. Usually when he had visited you in your apartment, before Sans had moved you here for some reason, you were always excited and giddy to talk to him. Usually you ran right up to Flowey and would give him a bearhug. "It's nothing Flowey. I'm  _ fine _ ." 

Your extra emphasis on the word fine sent Flowey on high alert. He narrowed his eyes at you, watching the way you shifted around in the bed. There was a stiffness to your movement and everytime Flowey caught your eye, he saw a flicker of pain that you desperately kept trying to hide. Flowey moved closer towards you and you grimaced. "Please Flowey, stop. I'm fine." Your voice wavered, desperation thickening your tone. Flowey hesitated, but steeled himself as he dragged himself up onto your bed. You froze, before dropping your head and turning away so you weren't facing Flowey. 

After a moment of silence, Flowey used a leafed hand to shift the blanket away from your back. As soon as he saw what was there, Flowey flinched away, dropping the blanket back into place. He was halfway across the room in a blink, as if trying to distance himself from that horrible sight. Flowey's face morphed into rage and he felt his petals curl with anger. 

You shifted your gaze over to him, a tired expression on your face. As you saw his own expression you let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Pretty ugly huh?" You asked, a twisted smile curling your lips as you gazed down at your hands. You were surprised to hear a sniffle coming from Flowey and looked over to see him wiping at his watering eyes. "Hey hey, it's okay Flowey." You mumbled softly, soothingly. 

"Shut up idiot. Stupid. You stupid face." Flowey sobbed as he wiped even more furiously at his face. "Yo-you don't get to comfort  _ me  _ now dummy. He-he did  _ that  _ to you, so you should cry and I-I should comfort-" He broke off, an angry sneer twisting his usual sweet face. "I want to kill him." Without any warning, you had fallen out of bed and were hastily crawling across the floor towards Flowey. Your movements were stiff and you flinched with every move you made, but you didn't stop until you were near the flower child. 

"No! Please, please don't Flowey!" You begged, your voice edged with fear as you reached out a shaking hand to smooth down his petals. Flowey turned away, giving you the courtesy of not staring at your bare chest, as you had dropped the blanket on the way over. "But I-" His voice shook, anger still curling his lips. "Flowey." Your soft voice tugged his gaze back over to you. Flowey gazed into your watery eyes and felt his SOUL ache at the pain in them. " _ Please,  _ you're all I have." You said, just as a fat tear rolled itself down your cheek. You hadn't even reached up a hand to brush it away, before Flowey gently wiped it off with his leaf. 

"It's okay, it's alright. I won't (Y/n), don't cry." Flowey mumbled, there was a moment of silence before Flowey drew back. He muttered a few choice words about Sans before he filled the air with the slightest bit of magic. A friendliness pallet hung in the air, before gently floating it's way towards you. As soon as it absorbed into your skin, your shoulders relaxed, the pain throbbing across your back fading into a more barrable degree. Smiling at Flowey, you thanked him wholeheartedly. Yet, he still looked miserable and sad. All he could do was take away some of your pain, he couldn't save you. 

That didn't stop him from trying though. 

***** 

Your blurry vision focused in on something meer inches from your face. Your brain was still clinging to the dream you had been having of Flowey, so the sight of the familiar petaled face in front of you caused a sleepy smile to take place on your face. You ignored the way this Flowey scowled at you as you raised a hand to brush a finger across one of his petals. 

He bit you as you did. 

With a small yelp, you jolted up and clutched at your hand as small droplets of blood welled up from the bite. Your back ached from the uncomfortable position on the floor and you didn't have to time to wonder why you were on the floor though because you were busy looking wide eyed up at Flowey. Your face broke into a genuinely happy smile. 

That only caused Flowey's scowl to deepen. "Listen fuckface, stop looking so happy to see me. Maybe I'm here to kill you? Ever think about that? Are you some kinda masochist or something you freak?" His voice was bitter and anger, tones you were unused to Flowey having. Still, you giggled at his words. He actually jolted on the spot. 

"I guess you're not my Flowey." You mumbled lovingly. "But even so, it makes me so happy to see you alive Asriel." Flowey looked dumbfounded for a moment before shaking his head roughly, side to side. "How do you know my name you piece of shit?!" He hissed through clenched teeth. You had opened your mouth to answer when you heard someone coming down the stairs. 

Panic flashed through you and pure instinct took over. The blanket was off you and covering Flowey's face and vines in a matter of seconds. You quickly stumbled your way in front of the blanket, hushing the hissing flower as your eyes finally locked on Sans, who had made his way to the bottom of the stairs. He looked surprised to see you awake. 

"heya (Y/n,) you hungry?" His voice was calm, if not the tiniest carious. As if worried you would fly off the handle at any given moment. You nodded feverishly, anything to get him to leave the room. Get him away from Flowey. Go away. Go away. Go away. "Um, yes?" You voiced, mimicking his steps so you were always between him and the blanket. Which had, thankfully, gone still and blissfully quiet. 

Sans quirked a bonebrow at you, gesturing towards the blanket behind you before taking another step forward. "uh, sure kid. but i gotta toss that in the laundry." 

"I will!" Your answer came too hastily and frantic. You were shaking and nearly on the verge of crying. You would never forgive yourself if you let him hurt Flowey again. Desperately, you tried to remind yourself that he  _ wasn't him _ , but the fear was too overwhelming. "hmm." Sans hummed thoughtfully. His finger raised up in the air, barely giving you any warning before it slung itself across the room into his hand. "don't worry about it, i'll…" His voice faded away as he laid his eyelights on the monster that had been tucked away under the blanket. 

"Heya there smiley trashbag." Flowey said, his tone gleefully filled with spite towards the much larger monster. You took a step back, closer to Flowey as Sans eyes widen with a mix of horror and anger. "(Y/n,) get away from him! i know he doesn't look like it, but that monster is really dangerous!" Flowey raised himself up, appraising you with a slight bemused and annoyed expression. Why were you protecting him? Weird. 

"She already knows that friggin idiot!" Flowey burst out laughing, while you stood frozen in place. "Tried to kill her once or twice, but oh bygones and such." Suddenly Flowey's face was pressed up against yours, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face. You flinched in surprised but stayed where you were. "Now we're the best of buddies." Flowey cooed, while Sans grinded his teeth together and clenched his fists. 

"get away from her you crazy freak." His hand was outstretched, already filling the air with his magic. Preparing for an encounter. 

No, no. Not Flowey. Not again. You jerked yourself back, dragging Flowey with you. You clung to him in your arms, keeping your back to Sans, shielding Flowey from any oncoming attacks. It was better. It was better if you got hurt instead. But as soon as you put yourself between the two, Sans magic immediately cut off. "(Y/n)-" He started, but you quickly cut him off. "Do-don't hurt Flowey. Me, just not Flowey. Not again. Please, please don't hurt him." You clung to the flowered monster, burying your face against his petals. You didn't catch the smug look Flowey shot Sans, who was still clenching his fists but looking around awkwardly and without purpose. 

"i-i won't kid. just… calm down." He sighed out, before moving slowly towards the couch and sitting. "but that flower freak is all kinds of twisted up inside. i'm gonna stay right here to keep an eye socket on him." You peeked over at him, confirming that he wasn't moving in on Flowey, before giving a small nod of your head. Your grip on Flowey loosened a smidge, enough for him to shimmy his way out of your arms and back onto the floor. 

You sat down cross-legged, back stiff and very much aware of the fact that Sans' eyelights were focused on both you and Flowey. "Why… why are you here?" You couldn't help but lower your voice, practically whispering so only Flowey could hear. He gave you a slightly annoyed look, as if were about to explain something very obvious to a child. "Didn't I just say you fucking retard!" Flowey said brightly, his voice taking on that childlike tone. You flinched a little at his words, but didn't say anything. "We're going to be the bestest of friends! I want to see how this plays out, and you're stupid enough to let me stick around." Flowey giggled, as if he just told the most hilarious joke. He gazed up at you with a mocking look of innocence. You just gave a small smile and breathed out a soft laugh. 

He scowled angrily up at you, his face scrunched up in confusion. Flowey's mouth opened, most likely about to hiss out a few choice words, but he stopped. Squinting his eyes up at you, his lip lifted to give you a sneer. "I have to go fuckface." Flowey hissed, regarding you almost warily. Without hesitation, you wrapped him an embrace, squeezing him tightly for half a second before scooting back so you wouldn't get bit again. He turned away quickly, already retreating, but you could have sworn you saw a baffled look on his flowered face. 


	12. Hating him

Sans had learned a lot about you in the week since Flowey had shown up. Each new discovery was either endearing or worrisome. He was also learning a lot about himself too. Sans was a hell of a lot more patient than he gives himself credit for. 

Since the day Flowey's shown up, you've had three more of those anger flares. When you're like that, it's like you're both blind and deaf. Everyone is your enemy and you'll attack another that moves. You scream nonsense that most of the time doesn't make sense to Sans at all. Sometimes though, he picks out snippets he'd rather wish he didn't. 

There were other things, less violent things, that Sans picked up on. You refused to sleep on a bed, instead claiming the couch they had in a room they Paps and him had used for storage. Sans could only guess as to why that was, and all of those guesses made him loath his counterpart even more than he already did. 

You hated mustard, Sans would have found that rather cute if it weren't for the fact that you absolutely loathed. The first time Sans brought you a sandwich from Grillby's with a little mustard on it, you took a bite then actually doubled over and puked. That had lead to one of your anger flares. When he found a bottle of mustard, that had been in the fridge a day before and barely even touched, in the trash, Sans left it be. He didn't even bother questioning you about it either. 

Another anger flare had started because you had deemed his presence when Flowey was around unnecessary. It sort of annoyed him how fiercely you protected that little demonic weed. Sans had tried to talk to you about it once, explaining Flowey was not a nice monster. Trying to make you see that he was just going to try to hurt you and those around you. It was just a game to Flowey after all. Sans really thought he was getting through to you, and pushed it further by reminding you that he wasn't the Flowey from your timeline. 

That had set off the third and final anger flare, one which you were coming down from right now. You were wrapped up in yourself, face pressed against your knees while your shoulders shook with sobs. The air was filled with choked up apologies, you always felt the need to apologize afterwards. Clenching his fists, Sans fought the urge to reach out and comfort you. You would never allow it though, even if he weren't that damnable Sans from her world, you were still terrified of him. 

"it's okay (Y/n,) no skin off my nose." Sans joked weakly. The joke fell flat. Sighing deeply, he slid down to the floor, crossing his legs as he sat a safe distance away from you. His eyes drifted over to your face as you lifted your head. Tears were still streaking down your cheeks and throat, your eyes were puffy and your nose was running like a faucet. In short, you looked like shit. Your eyes found his, before immediately flickering away across the room. "I'm sorry." You choked out, fingers tightening against their grip on your arm. 

"it's  _ fine _ kid." Sans said, overemphasizing the word fine just to show how epic and awesome everything was. Yeah, nothing was wrong with this picture at all. Just a SOULmate who hated his guts and was as fragile as glass. Not that he blamed you for any of that, of course. No, he blamed himself. Or the himself that was just another version of him. Stars, he had never even met the guy and yet Sans loathed him with a passion.

"I don't- I don't hate  _ you _ ." You said, gaze still pointed at the wall. Sans had noticed, you don't mind talking to him so long as you weren't looking at him. "I hate… how you look. I hate your magic, I hate your name. But I don't hate you, I just hate everything that reminds me…" Your voice trailed off before you gave another pitiful sniffle and buried your face in your knees once more. Yeah, Sans had also noticed you weren't too privy to his name. You never really  _ said  _ it, always referring to Sans as him, or just pointing at him when you were talking about Sans. He wasn't sure why but he knew for certain his counterpart was to blame. There probably wasn't a problem in this whole damn situation where his counterpart _ wasn't  _ at fault for. 

"i can't exactly change how i look (Y/n,) and let's  _ face  _ it, i'm far too vain to try." That joke at least got a small little chuckle out of you. Even if he had a sneaking suspicion that might have been a pity chuckle, it still felt like a win in his book. "i won't use my magic around you if it makes you so uncomfortable, should have spoken up about that sooner. as for my name… just, call me whatever, i won't mind." Sans paused for a heartbeat before letting out a loud sigh. "just, stars, please don't start calling me smiley trashbag." Your head bobbed up, eyes meeting his eyelights, yours shining for surprise. Sans rolled his eyelights at the look. " _ please, _ like i don't know what that weed calls me behind my back." 

You let out a soft huff of amusement. It wasn't a laugh and it was barely audible, but it was real and happy. That was definitely a win in Sans' book. 

***** 

"whatcha doin wit that wrech fish fucker?" Sans growled out, his head still propped up against his palm and his eyes still shut. The footsteps approaching him stopped short. He opened his eyes and locked eyelights with a stiff-lipped Alphys, a wrench hanging loosely by her side. She gave him a vicious smile that was all teeth, Sans returned the favor with a sharp toothed grin of his own. 

"Working on the machine that your precious SOULmate burnt out when she ran away from you." Alphys replied, her time sickly sugar sweet. Sans let out a warning growl, digging his fingers into the table he was propped up on with his free hand. "don't me make me cut that sharp tongue out alp, then how will ya and one eyed fish enjoy fuckin each other?" Sans let out a sharp laugh at the sneer Alphys sent his way. 

The machine that was in True Lab, the machine that had taken you away, was completely shot. Whatever energy it had used to take you to wherever it had taken you, had completely fried the machine beyond use. Thankfully, not beyond repair. Which is what he and the lizard freak had been working on. It was hard to concentrate on fixing a machine when your help was constantly trying to kill you. Luckily for said, Sans still needed her. Considering she knew this machine inside and out. Sans, being the fucking genius he was, could do this whole thing without her. But it was faster with. 

Time was of the essence after all. Tick tock tick tock. Ready or not, Sans was coming for you sweetheart. And stars when he gets his claws on you, you are gonna wish you never tried running away in the first place. 

"let's get back ta work alp." Sans said, his grin growing absolutely vicious. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty my sweet little reader-chans, reader-kuns, and reader-xgendered ;3 (that's the closest I could find to a Japanese word for non-binary ;-;) 
> 
> I have important news! 
> 
> Well, not important to you, but important to ME 
> 
> It's my birthday this month :B 
> 
> Jan. 25, turning 21 and still writing about corpse smooching on humans, my parents would be so proud :')


	13. Feverish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has been living with the skeletons for a few weeks now, getting used to them by now  
When she suddenly becomes ill  
Poor baby :(

Shimmying his way carefully through the familiar layout, his tongue poked out slightly in concentrate, Flowey kept a tight grip on the paper rolled up between his vined grip. He was so concerned with keeping a tight grip on the paper that he didn't realize he was near the floor until he bumped his head against the loose floorboard. Letting out a hissed breath, Flowey used his leafed hands to push the floorboard aside just enough to squeeze through. 

He carefully laid the paper out, smoothing out the wrinkles as he casts his gaze around the darkened room. "(Y/n?)" He called excitedly. Flowey had been planning your birthday gift for a while. You probably didn't even realize he remembered which day was your birthday. But he did! And he had made you a gift he really hoped you liked. Something shifted upwards on your bed and Flowey started towards what he assumed was you. "(Y/n!)" He greeted just as the light flared to life and he stopped dead in his tracks. That wasn't (Y/n.) 

***** 

"hey sweetheart, how was th'check-up?" Grimacing, you shivered with disgust as Sans leaned forward and gave you a mock kiss on the cheek. You rubbed the bare skin on your arm, sore with phantom pain. Although Alphys always healed you after taking blood, it still was unpleasant and hurt. "Healthy." Was the only word you whispered back at the skeleton as you gazed down at the floor. You frowned at the sight that greeted you. Dust, and quite a bit of it. You grimaced at what you realized what that meant. Sans didn't always clean himself up after he's done… unsavory business with other monsters. 

'_ At least dust is easier to clean than blood _.' You thought to yourself, growing tired of this. Of course, it's not like you haven't had to clean blood up after him. It was how life was. Sans saw you gazing at the dust and let out a rumbling laugh. He seemed in an oddly good mood today. "clean that up would ya babe?" You nodded hesitantly, keeping your head down and eyes locked on the floor. Something about that glint in his eyelights was making you more uneasy than usual. 

After cleaning up the mess, depositing the dust in the trash can, you said a silent prayer for the unlucky SOUL who Sans had dusted. You awkwardly shuffled around the kitchen as Sans keep his unpleasant gaze on you, his smile far too pleased. "by th'way babe, a friend o'yours stopped by." Your eyes flickered up towards his, confusion mingling in your gaze. You didn't have any friends. You haven't for a long time. The only friend you had was…. Oh god, no. 

No no no no no no

Your legs started shaking horribly and you had to lean against the counter to keep your balance. Sans chuckled at your expression, sliding a crumpled piece of paper across the counter towards you. "lil fucker asked m'ta give ya this 'fore i stuck a bone through his head." His voice was amused, gleeful even. With a shaking hand, you reached out and took the paper, legs finally giving out as you looked at the picture drawn on it. A childlike drawing of you and Flowey, smiling on a sunny hill. A low keening sound formed in your chest as you clutched the paper to your chest. Sobs and ragged breathing were the only thing that broke the awful depressing sound parting your lips. 

A small chuckle was the only warning Sans gave as he vanished from sight to leave you to your despair. The only sort of Mercy he would ever show you, leaving you to your own brokenness. As soon as he was gone, you dragged yourself over to the trash can. Throwing it onto its side, you scooped out everything inside it before carefully removing everything from the dust. Luckily everything was dry and what you were left with was a small pile of dust. Your hand hovered over it, a big wet tear falling right in the center of the pile. 

"Flowey." You whispered, standing on shaky legs. You walked numbly over to one of your cabinets, grabbing an empty container. You carefully scooted his remains into the container, laying the picture lovingly on top, before sealing said container. Stumbling over to your bed, you laid on top of it, staring at nothing as you clung to the precious container. It held none of his warmth, not a single speck of his SOUL. Sans had snuffed it out, _ you had snuffed it out _. 

Curling into a tight ball around it you let out a scream, so loud and long-winded that it stopped sounding human. It didn't sound like an animal either. It just sounded like pure raw pain. You didn't stop the horrid screeching until it tore your vocal cords to shreds, even then you kept a stream of air puffing though your throat, trying to tell the world your pain. 

You screamed, you cried, you begged the world to stop the pain, you wanted someone to help you. 

To save you. 

** _But nobody came _ **

***** 

It hurt, everything hurt. Please stop hurting, please make it stop. You let out a weak pained cough, and flinched back at the feel of a skelatal hand pressed up against your forehead. No, no, not him. Please. 

"hey, calm down kiddo. just me, blue. geez, you sure are warm. hey paps, think you could call alp?" The voice felt far away, although you could feel him touching his head against your forehead. Stop touching you! Blue? Who's Blue? He's a horrible murderer named Sans. A freak, a creep, a bastard. And Alphys was just as bad. You weakly swatted at the hand, shoving against it even as the act of moving caused you to cry out in pain. 

"No no, I-" Your words were cut off as your body jerked from a horrible bout of coughing. You suddenly started dry-heaving and were quickly rolled to your side. Bile spilled from your lips and you just weakly stretched your neck out so none would get all over you. Ugh, the taste was horrible. 

"shit!" The voice hissed. The horrible scary voice. Why did that word sound so unnatural on his lips? He cursed all the time. It was a common occurrence to have him spit vile filth at you. So it made no sense why you felt uneasy with the idea of him cursing. "paps, hurry up okay?" His voice sounded panicked and you felt a hand brushing the hair away from your sweat-soaked head. Your eyes finally managed to crack open and you looked up at the blurry skeleton. His expression was filled with concern. So… unusual. Yet, it looked perfectly at home on that face. Like, you were used to it being there. You reached out a trembling hand to press it against his face, making sure it was real. 

<strike>Sans</strike> Blue stiffened as you did, but relaxed as his gaze found your own. He reached up and covered your hand with his own. A soft sigh left your lips, your gut twisting with how that little gesture of his comforted you. Why should it comfort you? You hated him! Hated hated hated! He killed Flowey, hurt you, did _ unspeakable things _. And yet, you found yourself lulled back to sleep. This time, no nightmares awaited you. 

***** 

Your mind was much clearer the next time you woke up. Still, your brain was slow and uncooperative as you stared at the ceiling in confusion. Why did you feel like shit? Where were you? How did you get here? You answered one of your questions by slowly rolling your head around. You were in <strike>Sans</strike>' Blue's room. Your gaze took in the sight of him tuckered out, sitting down and leaning against the wall. 

Something tickled at the back of your brain but you ignored it as your eyes slowly started to close shut again. 

***** 

You were on a bed. That was the first thought that flared through your fever struck brain. You tried to sit up, but that sent prickles of pain flaring throughout your whole body. You let out a weak cry before settling on whimpering pathetically as you curled in on yourself. What had he done to you? 

Didn't he stop at your back? 

Why did everything hurt? 

You flinched away as you felt a leather like hand pressed against your throat. You panicking internally, not wanting to risk the pain by squirming away. It took a moment for you to realize the hand was just laying there, two fingers pressed against the side of your throat. 

'_ Checking my pulse. _' You noted numbly before letting out a soft moan of pain as you were sat up. Your eyes slid open, everything too blurry and shifting to make sense of. That was until a yellow lizard monster stepped forward with a needle. "No." You croaked out weakly as your eyes focused on her. Alphys. She was going to heal you up just so he could hurt you all over again. 

"shh, it's okay (Y/n.) you're really sick and alp here is going to help." You couldn't see who was sitting you up, but the voice of that person caused a soft sigh of relief to part your lips. "Blue?" You breathed out the question while confusion swirled in your mind. Who was Blue? You only knew Sans and Flowey, and Flowey was dead. 

"yeah, i'm here. everything's gonna be okay. you just got really sick, but alps here is going to fix you up." The voice whispered reassuringly. Your head rolled to rest against the voice as he kept mumbling reassurances. "Don't let him hurt me, please." You mumbled, face pressed against him and eyes sliding back shut. Blue stiffened when you said _ him _, but he kept whispering soft comforts to you. You felt a sharp prick against your arm and before too long you were too heavy to stay awake. 

***** 

Your head was muggy when you woke up, but it was clear enough to realize you've been sick for god knows how long. From the way your arms shook slightly as you sat up, you'd say a few days at least. Gazing around the room with hazy vision, the first thing you did was drag yourself off the bed and onto the floor. You fell into a jumbled heap, dry-heaving at the sudden movement, but unable to vomit with such an empty stomach. 

When you finally moved your gaze from the floor to the doorway, everything sort of spinning, it was because Blue was walking through. He was talking to someone while carrying a tray of what, you couldn't see. "-eave her alone until she's better okay. i don't want a murder happy flower around her while-" His slightly annoyed voice broke off as his eyelights locked on you. They widened, before hastily setting the tray down and rushing towards you. The only reaction you had was a slight twitch. Just a knee jerk reaction to seeing someone looking so much like _ him _ barreling towards you. 

"(Y/n!) you shouldn't be out of bed!" Blue said, voice edged with panic. Your head rolled back, resting against the side of the bed. "Couch." You croaked out, your eyes pleading with him. "Couch. Couch, please." He paused, hesitating as he warily took in the expression across your face. "okay kiddo, i'll go get pap to carry you in there." He said gently. You nodded, your shoulders relaxing at what he said. In the few weeks you've spent with the skeletons, you've become used to <strike>Sans</strike>' Blue's presence, but the thought of him touching still sent waves of disgust down your spine. It hurt everytime you hurt him, because Blue was actually a really thoughtful and kind skeleton. You think if you hadn't had the stain of <strike>Sans</strike> Red in your kind, you would have already fallen in love with Blue. 

As you waited for Papyrus to get there, a very grumpy and hissy Flowey kept you company. Growling about how he was waiting for you to croak so he could take your SOUL. You just laughed and offered it to him, yet again. His petaled face turned a shade darker, and like usual, he ignored your offer as if he hadn't even heard it. It was becoming a familiar song and dance. You offering your SOUL to him so he could become whole again and him pretending like you hadn't said anything. 

It was almost funny, really. 

Papyrus soon entered, speaking cheerfully about how much better you looked. He picked you up, attempting to speak in a low voice, so as to not hurt your muddled head. He carried you to the sofa, sat you down, covered you up, and then quickly retrieved the tray Blue had left in the other room. It had a glass of water, two pills, and a small bowl of what looked like soup. 

You focused on the water first, carefully gulping it down so you wouldn't choke. Papyrus regards you with a friendly smile as he held out the pills. You grimaced, looking them over before plopping them in your mouth and gulping down more water. You were only about to eat half the soup before your eyes started growing really heavy. "HUMANS SURE DO LIKE TO SLEEP A LOT WHEN THEY ARE SICK!" Papyrus suddenly booms. Even the surprise of his loud voice wasn't enough to keep your eyes from slipping close. "Mmm?" You mumbled out as Papyrus moved the tray away from you. "YES HUMAN! YOU HAVE SLEPT MOST OF THE TIME AWAY THESE LAST FIVE DAYS! EVEN MY LAZY BONES BROTHER SA- BLUE DOES NOT SLEEP THAT MUCH." 

You tried to feel a sense of concern or panic that you've apparently been sick for five days and barely recall anything, but you were quickly dragged under into a blissful sleep. 


	14. Bad thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's ignore the fact that I've been gone for a month 😌

You woke up with a headache and a yucky dry mouth, but overall feeling much better than the day before. Closing your mouth, which had been wide open as you slept, you shifted onto your side. You sniffed a little before rubbing your nose on you sleeve. Opening your heavy eyelids, the sight that greeted your eyes was little Flowey wrapped around the length of your arm. His eyes closed and petaled head resting delicately on your shoulder. A faint smile lifted the corner or your lips and you reached out a finger to brush against one of his petals. 

"I'm not asleep." 

Your hand jerked back in surprise as Flowey spoke up. One of his eyes popped open and stared at you. He was already sneering at you but his face was also scrunched up in concern. Lifting himself away from you, Flowey regarded you with a sullen look on his face. "Why'd you have to go and get sick?" He hissed, glaring daggers your way. "You left on a cliffhanger the last time you read to me. You did this on purpose you asshole!" Lifting a hand to hide the grin that spread across your face, you regarded Flowey fondly. He wasn't as kind as  _ your  _ Flowey and had a horrible potty mouth, but under all the anger he seemed to have his own way of caring about you. Even if that way included death threats. 

You cleared your throat, before huffing out a small laugh. "I can't really get sick on purpose Flowey." You giggled, sitting up yourself. Everything still ached a bit, but after a good stretch, most of the pain faded away. Flowey watched with a sullen look on his face. Suddenly his head snapped to the left and he bared his teeth into a sneer. 

"feeling better (Y/n.)" You stiffened, a knee-jerk reaction, but turned to Blue and gave him a soft, slightly hesitant, smile. He certainly looked sicker than you, dark circles under his eyes and sort of slumped into himself. Is he okay? 

"You look like shit." Flowey said pleasantly. You leveled a glare with the naughty flower, who held your gaze before flashing his own to the ground with a scowl. Geez, just like a little kid. "Yeah Blue, are you uh, feeling okay? You didn't… catch what I had, did you?" You fiddled with your fingers anxiously. You would feel horrible if he was like this because of you. 

"nah kid, i'm just pretty  _ bone tired _ . just need to rest my  _ eyesocket _ ." Blue grinned sleepily at you and you felt your heart sink a little. He was probably staying awake taking care of you. So, it was your fault. Stupid stupid stupid! Why'd you have to go and get sick! "Sorry." You mumbled, wrapping your arms around you legs and pulling them flush against your chest. " _ water  _ you sorry for kid?" Blue mumbled, rattling around a glass, which you just noticed he was holding. Ice-cubes clinked together as he handed you the glass of water and two little pills. 

"Thank you." Gratefully taking said water and pills, you took a drink and popped the pills in your mouth before swallowing. "Hey fuckface?" You glanced down at Flowey who was regarding you with… curiosity. "Tell me about your timeline and shit." He demanded. You jerked at the sudden request and Blue sucked in a sharp breath. Water spilled its way down your arm but you paid it no mind. 

"flowey, she doesn't-" 

"Shut up trashbag! Talking is therapeutic and shit or whatever. So, (Y/n,) what was the hellish place like." Flowey was batting his eyes innocently up at you as he perched himself on your shoulder, his cheek resting on your own. 

"I- I, it was… I didn't see much of, you know, the things that hap-happened when monsters took over." Your voice shook horribly as you started talking. You didn't want to talk about it, but this was  _ Flowey.  _ Fingers clenched tightly against the glass, you took a small drink too try and calm yourself. "Why's that? You think humans would pay attention to their own downfall." Flowey snorted. Still you felt his cheek rubbing against your own. It was calming sure, but not enough to stop your racing heart from thumping painfully against your chest. 

"He wouldn't let me." You choked out, tears filling in your eyes. "hey (Y/n,) you don't have to talk about it-" "You're talking about Sans, right?" Flowey asked, his voice far too sweet to be innocent. Two things shattered, one was the cup you held tightly in your grip. Your hand and arm were soon coated in both water and blood alike. You looked at it numbly, aware of noises and muffled yelling happening around you. A skelatal hand reached out for you injured one. 

You let out a screech and jerked away, clutching said hand to your chest. You ended up off the couch, having bumped your head on the way down. Quickly righting yourself, you scuddled backwards, aware of a strange mantra going on in your head. "Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me." Tucking your face against your knees, the hot breath hitting along your legs, you realized you were mumbling those words over and over again. 

"Holy shit." 

"that's why i was trying to say we don't talk about that! now go get the bandages, you idiot." Blue hissed, as he crouched down to your level, keeping a very reasonable distance from you. "hey, hey (Y/n,) it's okay. look i gotta look at that wound. we got to patch it up, okay?" He said, voice soft and gentle. You shivered and shook your head side to side. "Don't touch me,  _ please _ ." You choked out and you felt yourself tense up as the air thickened with tension. 

"course kiddo. how's about i get paps to come look at that hand though? got to clean it up so it doesn't get infected." Blue's voice sounded almost as choked up as yourself, but when you peeked up at him he was still smiling and his shoulders were relaxed. You gave a hestainted nod, relaxing some yourself. Papyrus, sweet, sweet, kind Papyrus. There were no bad memories attached to that name, no horrors lurking in his kind and gentle face. "Yeah, yeah, Papyrus." You mumbled, shoulders slumping downwards. 

Watching with a wary gaze, you watched Blue carefully get up and make his way out of the room. You felt like you could finally breath when he left, and that made you feel horrible. "He's not  _ him _ ." You hissed at yourself, your chest aching from guilt, just as painful as the horrible pain in your hand. Leaning back against the wall, you patiently waited for Papyrus to show up. 

***** 

"IT IS A VERY GOOD THING IT DID NOT CUT TOO DEEP HUMAN! YOU WILL NOT REQUIRE STITCHES." You hummed in agreement, squinting slightly as Papyrus' voice boomed around in your skull. You were still feeling icky from being sick and had a bit of a headache. Speaking of feeling icky though.

"Would I be able to um… shower with this thing on?" You mumbled, fidgeting on the spot. You felt you had overreacted in the moment, but it's not like you could control your trauma. Though, you wished Blue wouldn't keep getting hurt because of you. Stars, how you wished you could have met Blue instead of Red. Things would have really been different for you. 

"OF COURSE SMALL ONE," You twitched a little at that. No need to remind you that you were small Paps. "JUST BE SURE TO WRAP THE HAND UP IN PLASTIC SO IT DOESN'T GET WET! IT IS A SHAME YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER, MONSTER FOOD COULD HAVE HEALED THAT UP IN JUST A SECOND." Papyrus finished with a flare, his cape seeming to rustle in the still air of the room. "Yeah, shame." You chuckled weakly. Really, you adored Papyrus, but you were just getting over being sick, and sometimes his personality could be a bit…. much. 

After giving you the go ahead, you hurriedly took a nice long, and much needed, shower. Washing away all the sick smell to you, easing your headache into something manageable, and letting you just stand there and think. You dressed slowly, putting on the shirt first, as you always did. Though it was difficult given you now only had one properly working hand. When you finally exited the bathroom, you heard voices coming from the other room. Curiously, you walked over and poked your head in to glance around the living room. 

Your eyes widened and tears dampened the edges. Although you had only known her a week, she was the first to show you kindness in so long. "My child." Toriel suddenly stood to her full height, abandoning her spot on the couch where she had been talking with Blue. 

"Oh, how I've missed you!" She rushed over to you, pulling yourself against her into a tight hug. Your good hand reached up and grabbed ahold of her long thick fur. Burying your face into her shoulder, you let her hold you in that motherly embrace as you started sobbing against her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flowey proves he's still a dick   
Blue tries to respect Reader's boundaries, but still feels a bit hurt   
And BITCHES, TORIEL IS BACK MOTHERFUCKERS!


	15. Run run run

You sat beside Toriel, Tori as she still insisted you call her, your uninjured hand in her giant furred one. She was grinning widely, she almost looked like Sans. To whom she was chatting excitedly with, her other hand waving around the air. 

.

"To think she was so close outside the ruins. You know, I checked everywhere for her, just everywhere inside the ruins. I gave up eventually, I assumed (Y/n) here just simply passed through the gate on her own. I was upset, of course, but I saw no good in coming through the gate and dragging her back if she truly wanted away." Tori was babbling, far too excited to slow down. "I haven't been outside the ruins in  _ years _ . But when I heard you speaking about a sick human instead of your normal knock knock jokes, I just  _ knew  _ it was my sweet child. I am so grateful for you two brothers for taking care of this young lady." 

A small blush graced your cheeks at her words. Tori really did sound like a worried mother. It made a warm feeling glow in your chest, even if you also felt a bit sad about it. It reminded you of your own mother. You were certain she would be saying the exact same things to Blue and Papyrus if they had cared for you, even given the fact they were monsters. Your mother had just been that kind of person, understanding and kind. 

A small sad smile twisted your lips, but a soft squeeze from Tori was enough to make happiness flutter in your chest. Only spent time with her for a week and she had already left a bigger impression on you than any of your old foster parents. 

"Thank you." You whisper faintly. "For… checking up on me. It-" You choked off, eyes watering as you blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. "It means a lot."

"Of course my sweet child." Tori cooed happily, a large pawed hand petting the top of her head. You let out a shaky breath and gave her a watery smile. She smiled at you, all sympathy and concern. Blue cleared his non-existent throat and the moment passed between the mother and 'child.' You peeked nervously over at Blue, injured hand twitching slightly under all the bandages. You hoped he was okay, you really hadn't meant to react like that. 

A sigh left your lips as you turned your face away from him. You felt so bad for him. His SOULmate was broken and was too scared of him to give him a chance. Although, that wasn't completely true. Things were better, you were slowly warming up to Blue. There are plenty enough differences to distinguish him from  _ Red _ . 

"anyways tor, as i was saying. you can visit here anytime you'd like. door's always open for you, so long as you  _ knock knock _ , hehehe, but ah, nah, seriously." Blue's gaze was suddenly anxiously on you. He shifted on his seat on the couch, a resigned look settling over his face. You sat up a little, eyebrows scrunched together in concern. "or uh, you know, (Y/n,) might be more comfortable back at your place… with you." The silence that followed was only a heartbeat long, but felt deafeningly loud. 

"Oh, forgive me for assuming, but the way you spoke of her I thought…" Tori's voice trailed off, much to your relief. You didn't want to know what she thought you and Blue might be. You didn't want to think about what you and Blue might be. 

A hand came up to press harshly against your forehead. What even  _ were  _ you two? SOULmates? That word had lost all good meaning to you years ago. Friends? Were you friends? Jesus fuck, what did  _ Blue  _ think you were? Did  _ he  _ think you were both friends. Fuck, would it be weird to ask him? Maybe, considering half the time you acted like he was the devil reincarnated. 

"no, no, tor, we're just friends." 

Okay, that quickly put an end to your mental debate. Your shoulders sagged a bit in relief at his words, even as there was a tiny pinprick of… disappointment. You wanted to be friends with Blue, right? He was kind and funny and sweet. It wasn't his fault he looked like your worst nightmare. 

But leaving here? Moving back in with Tori? A part of you wanted to run away from everything, lock yourself behind her ruin doors. But the rest of you was more or less comfortable with where you were now. 

"You can… visit me often… right?" You asked hesitantly, your hand squeezing hers as you glanced over in your direction. 

"Of course my child." Tori's eyes were sad but held understanding in them. With a sigh, you leaned into the warmth that was hers and let it surround you, enjoying her company while it lasted. You didn't take notice to the surprised, but nonetheless happy, smile Blue held on his face. You just held onto Tori, fingers brushing across her fur as she began recanting about her days since you left. 

It was nice and peaceful, pleasant to stay by the goat mom's side as she prattled on, but all things must come to an end. With a tearful goodbye, and promises to visit, Tori was gone and out the door. As soon as she had disappeared, Flowey magically reappeared, his flowered face an unreadable mask. He still scowled and snapped at you when you tried to talk to him, but refused to leave your side, his eyes darting to your injured hand every so often. After that, Papyrus called them all in for lunch, seeing as you had missed breakfast. You are with a flower curled around your shoulders, a tall skeleton boasting about his burnt spaghetti, and a short little blue, smiling thoughtfully at his food as he ate. 

Life was… actually okay.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"we're so close, 't's almost fuckin done." 

"Poor little mate, run while you can, hehehe." 

"shut up fishfucker and get back to work." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive bitches


	16. Drunken

Fuckfuckfuckfuck 

It hurts

<strike> _ It hurts so much _ </strike>

Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, makeitstop, makeitstop, makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeit- 

Your back was on fire

<strike> _ Please please, stop it _ </strike>

It hurts so much

<strike> _ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to _ </strike>

You’re going to throw up, oh god, ** _the pain _ **

<strike> _ I said _ ** _yes, _ ** _ I didn’t tell my soul to say no _ </strike>

You begged, pleaded, and made promises to _ him _ . He just kept **carving **

Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsit- 

“Ahhh, fuck!” Legs tangled up in the blankets, you looked around with bewildered confusion. You were… on the floor? Feet still resting comfortable on the couch with blankets cheerfully imprisoning your legs. Gulping in a lungful of air, you thudded your head back to rest on the mildly dirty floor. 

“I should- I should sweep today.” You mumbled to yourself, but found no motivation to actually get up. You had had a nightmare. They weren’t uncommon for you, but they left you sweating and gasping for air every time you woke from one. You had slept all night, only to wake up already exhausted. 

“Ugh.” You groaned, rolling onto your side. Your legs slipped off the couch as you moved. Arms wrapped around yourself, your hands clutched at your back, phantom pains still wrecking across your back, causing your empty stomach to roll with uneasiness. Closing your eyes shut tight, you willed the moisture in them to go away. Your hands blindly searched under the couch for something you left, for just this occasion. 

Fingers touching the cool glass, your body relaxed. You opened your eyes as you dragged it out, a tear or two slipping down your cheek. Alcohol with a bundle of magic. This room had been used for storage and you had found this in a deep back corner covered in dust. A note had been taped on it “..... From Grillby…… to my loyal……. customer……..” 

It looked untouched though. You popped it open with easy and push it to your lips. You’ve never been a drinker, but you’re hoping this will get rid of that bad dream. Taking a big swing, you immediately dropped the bottle and started hacking. Holy fuck, that smarts! While your throat burns, you still quickly snatch up the bottle again, a small puddle having already formed. 

You take another drink, this time slowly and more hesitant. It still tastes bitter and gross, but this time you can feel a small popping in your mouth, the popping continues as the drink slides down your throat. 

You belch. 

Then you start giggling. 

It’s so warm. So so so warm. 

Your lips are already on the bottle once more, the bitter taste seems to fade, all you can feel is the soft popping in your mouth. “So nice.” You mumble, taking another, longer drink. Why had you been upset? You couldn’t remember. What’s there to be upset about? It’s so warm, so fuzzy. Everything’s so nice. 

“Are you ever gonna get your fucking ass up you piece of human waste? Breakfast was done like two fucking hours- what the fuck!” Flowey was in front of you, glowering at the bottle in hand. You let out a squeal of excitement as you reached for him. He didn’t move away as you sloppily planted a kiss on one of his petals. 

“Flowery- you are sooooooo cute, you know? Like, amazzzzzzzingly cute!” Another drink, another belch, another fit of giggles. 

Flowey wrinkled his face up in annoyance. You couldn’t understand what was annoying him. Everything was so warm and fuzzy, how could someone be annoyed during such a happy day. Taking another giant gulp of it, you leaned forward and down until you were on Flowey’s level, directly in his face. You shot him a wide sloppy grin. 

“I loaf- love ya Flowey. Ike, so much. And not leek- like LoVe, but totally love you, soft letters. You’re m-my favorite monster Flowy. I would soooo die tor- for you.” A fit of giggles slipped past your lips. “I meeeean, yous already pied- died for me.” Even though it wasn’t funny, you kept giggling, because it felt nice. Another drink went down and you felt your head swim with all the fuzzy feelings surrounding you. 

You attempted to stand. Attempted, because you couldn’t even sit up without tilting over. You landed on your side, laughing like a fiend. It was just so hilarious. 

“You’re drunk.” Flowey hissed, annoyance in his face and voice. “M’not.” You protested, batting at Flowey as a vine snaked its way around you. “Stop squirming, you idiot!” He hissed, wrapping you up more securely. Flowey then lifted you up in the air and made his way out of the room. You whined in protest when he snatched the bottle from your fingers and left it on the floor of your room. 

Another mumbled protest from you, but you wiggled into a more comfortable position. Eyes slipping close as you cuddled closer to Flowey. He kept mumbling angry words, making halfhearted promises of stealing your soul, all that good stuff. You were actually starting to drift off when he roughly tossed you against the floor. “Heeey, bats not niiiice.” You whined, eyes popping open to a blurry scene. 

“flowey- wha-?” 

“Your problem now smiley trash bag.” You heard Flowey snark. He started to exit the room but hesitated in the entrance. He looked back at you, a slight annoyed worried look on his face. “She’s uh, drunk fuckface. So… yeah um…” Flowey started awkwardly. “Don’t…. try anything or do anything, okay? I mean, it’d be really annoying having to deal with (Y/n)’s crying.” And then Flowey was gone, mumbled curses in his wake. 

Your beady eyes swiveled from the doorway over to a very nervous looking and sweating Blue. “uh, hey (Y/n.) guess ya been doing some early morning drinking. no skin off my bones about that, but um… maybe that’s not too healthy for humans?” You stifled a giggle, stumbling to your feet, you wobbled your way a step closer to Blue. You felt yourself pitch backwards, but Blue’s hand was already on your arm, steadying you. 

“ha, sorry kiddo. you’re looking a bit _ tipsy _right now. let’s get you sat down.” Blue carefully started to position you sitting on the ground. After you were taking care of, he started to scoot away. You grabbed at him, causing Blue to jolt on the spot. 

“You’re soooo nice.” You slurred, your brain struggling to find more nice things to say about him. “And I’m sucha bitch t’you.” Okay, not what you had in mind, but it could work. 

“You’re n’him And I know that. But I still blow up n’you and is’not fair. And you’re jus’so nice. And so friendly. And so thoughtful. I wish” You dragged yourself closer until your face was pressed into Blue’s shirt. “I wish I’d’ve met yo’first….” Then, surprising both you and Blue, you started giggling. You lifted your head until your gaze met Blues.’

“But we can still b’soulmates, yeah?” 

“huh-?” 

Blue barely had time to react as you pressed your lips against his own boned ones. He froze in place for half a second before forcefully prying you off of him. 

“It’s’okay.” You slurred, trying to drag him closer to you. You felt desperate. Desperate to hold onto something kind and real. If you didn’t do this, he’d leave you. ** _This is what Soulmates do. _ **

“I know what I’m doing.” You mumbled, hands grasping as his jacket, trying to peel it off from him. This time, Blue jumped to his feet like you had burned him. You just sat there for a moment, hands hovering in the air, before dropping them to your side. You didn’t want to look at Blue. Was he disgusted? 

“You don’t wan’me?” Because you were used? Disgusting? _ Tainted _? 

“oh, crap. don’t cry please.” He was kneeling beside you, cupping your face in both his boned hands. You leaned forward, attempting to kiss him again, but he firmly keep your face in place. “it’s not that (Y/n,) seriously. i’d be more than happy to do something like that with you, but you’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re doing.” You did, you did know what you were doing. You **had ** to do this. **Hadtohadtohadto**. “plus, pretty sure Flowey would dust me if i did something to you while you’re like this.” Blue joked, making a weak attempt to lighten the mood. 

You didn’t laugh. 

You just sat there while Blue made light conversation. You felt cold. Blue brought you a blanket. 

You still felt cold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: “Gib me dat skelly diiiiiick.” 
> 
> Blue, visibly terrified: “i am a man oF GOD.” 
> 
> But seriously, our sweet little reader has problems :’c


	17. Therapy with Paps

“SA- BLUE I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE MENTAL STATE OF THE HUMAN.” Glancing up at his brother, Blue did his best not to grimace at his words. He tried for a lighthearted grin instead. 

“huh, whatcha mean bro?” He asked, playing dumb as he plopped his chin into the palm of his hand, elbow propped on the kitchen counter. 

“BROTHER! SHE HAS NOT LEFT HER ROOM  _ ALL DAY! _ ” Papyrus bemoaned. “I DARESAY, SHE’S BEING EVEN LAZIER THAN YOU.” 

Blue chuckled, although it held no real amusement in it. “impossible bro, no one’s as  _ bone tired  _ as me.” He joked halfheartedly. In truth, he was actually getting pretty worried about you himself. Yesterday you had gotten pretty drunk. After uh…  _ that thing  _ happened, you had just gone quiet and sort of limp. After that, Blue had helped you stumble back to your room to sleep off the rest of your drunkenness. Blue had made sure to pour the rest of that drink down the sink. You hadn’t said anything, just curled up on the couch, wrapped up in blankets. 

Blue wasn’t sure if you had left the couch since, and it was already midday into the next day. 

Had he done something wrong? Had he somehow reminded her of Red? The very thought made him sick to his nonexistent stomach. If you’d just tell him, he’d never do it again. He hated to have anything in common with that creep. Blue’s never been too self conscious of his appearance, but lately he’s been really wishing he looked anything like himself. 

“UGH, BROTHER!” Papyrus stomped his foot in frustration. Blue just gave him a teasing smile. “I KNOW YOU REFUSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BUT THIS IS YOUR SOULMATE! YOU SHOULD TAKE BETTER CARE OF HER.” 

Oh, ouch. That actually kind of hurt. From the guilt that swept across Papyrus’ face, it was clear he was regretting his words as soon as he had said. “MY APOLOGIES BLUE I AM Just Worried About Her…” Papyrus trailed off, his voice softening towards the end as his face scrunched up in concern. 

Blue let out a soft sigh, his face softening. “me too paps, tho i think whatever it is, me talking to her isn’t going to help.” Folding hood arms across the table, Blue plopped his chin into the little nest of bones and let out a long winded sigh. Stars, this sucked. 

“WELL, THEN ALLOW ME TO TALK TO (Y/N!) I WILL SURELY MAKE HER FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME NYHEEHEEHEE!” Papyrus was amping himself up so hard, Blue couldn’t help but let out a huff of laughter at it. “sure bro, break a leg.” “THERE WILL BE NO BROKEN BONES TO BE HAD BROTHER! ONLY HEALED SOULS!!” 

Blue let out an easy smile and a soft chuckle, his bones finally relaxing. Paps could and would definitely perk the human up, maybe even get you to say what Blue did wrong. 

***** 

“Paps?” You mumbled sleepy, shifting your upper half off the couch. Your puffy eyes could barely make out the tall skeleton, because of both sleepiness and crying all last night and today. You didn’t want to sit up, you felt too heavy. You just wanted to lay back down, pull the covers over your head, go to sleep, and never wake. 

Really, what was the point? 

Bu-but, this was Papyrus. 

You forced yourself into a sitting position while Papyrus watched with a worried, but friendly, face. “MAY I SIT BESIDE YOU (Y/N?)” Papyrus asked while you rubbed at your eyes. You winced at the soreness of them but gave a nod of your head. Papyrus wasted no time crossing the room and plopping himself down beside you. 

He reached over and grabbed your hand, completely engulfing it in his much bigger gloved hands and just turned to stare at you. Clearing your throat awkwardly, you turned your head to the side to avoid his relentless gaze. 

“I-is there something wrong?” You mumbled. 

“I DO NOT KNOW HUMAN, IS THERE?” 

You stiffened, your hand gripping the blanket tightly. Without much thought, you snatched your hand away from Paps and threw the blanket over yourself, covering yourself completely with it, before laying down, head on Papyrus’ lap. It was so nice like this, warm, dark, with your head on a caring person’s lap. You don’t think you’ve done something like this since your mom was alive. 

“I’m fine.” Your voice was small, and unconvincing. And it would take a lot of convincing to convince Papyrus you were okay. He was worried, so worried. You hated it, you wished both the brothers would stop being so kind and caring. You didn’t deserve it. 

You’re dirty, filthy, bad, bad,  **bad.**

Stifling a sob, you curled up into a tighter ball, pressing yourself closer to Papyrus. You felt good hand patting against your back. You almost wanted to tell him to stop, you didn’t want him touching you. But at the same time you craved his gentle childlike affection and attention. You wanted him to hate you, but also love you. 

“Are you going to leave me?” You asked, voice thick with emotions. A hand poked out from your blanket and reached out and grabbed hold of a random part of Papyrus, you think it was his spine. 

“NAY HUMAN! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SO BUMMED ABOUT TODAY? I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW UPSETTING IT MIGHT BE TO THINK I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MIGHT ONE DAY EXIT YOUR LIFE.” Papyrus patted your back on a comforting motion. Your fingers loosened a tad on their tight grip, but you still held on to him as if he would disappear at any given moment. 

“I tried to sleep with Blue late night.” You whispered, body tensing as you waited for his response. Disgusted? Horrified? Awkward? What was it going to be? 

“NO NEED TO BE ASHAMED WITH THAT, WHY WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND STILL HAD NIGHTMARES, I WOULD TAKE COMPANY IN MY BROTHERS’ BED EACH NIGHT!” 

You choked out a laugh, fingers clutching tightly against the blanket. He was so sweet and pure, should you even taint him with your disgusting wants? Sex is all your good for right? Blue and Papyrus do everything around the house, cook, clean, take care of  _ your  _ messes. Isn’t that what a Soulmate’s supposed to do with their other half? And it’s the only thing you're good at, so shouldn’t you? But he pushed you away because you're gross. Do you have to try harder? It’s what you’re supposed to do.  ** _You have to or he’ll hurt you. _ **

Releasing your grip from Papyrus, you clutched at your head, tears burning in your eyes. No no no no no, that’s wrong, Blue isn’t  ** _him. _ ** He wouldn’t hurt you no matter how useless you are… but, couldn’t he leave you? Decide a broken Soulmate isn’t worth it. “Don’t leave me, please. Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t Paps, don’t leave me.” You choked out. The hand on your back paused and you felt panic take over your mind. But it continued just a heartbeat later, calming you just a tad. 

“ _ We  _ Won’t (Y/n.)” He mumbled softly, a tone that surprised you. He held you for a long time, letting you cry, reassuring you that he wouldn’t leave, that  _ they  _ wouldn’t leave. 

***** 

After what felt like hours of silence, just the sound of you sniffing pathetically under the blanket, Papyrus spoke. “HUMAN, I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL WITH DEALING WITH THESE THINGS. WHILE I WILL HELP YOU WITH EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY CAN, PERHAPS I COULD RECOMMEND SOMEONE TO YOU. I KNOW A DOCTOR-“ 

“Not Alphys.” Although your voice was tired and raw from crying, there was fire in it. 

“OH….” There was a long pause. 

“DO YOU KNOW HER? IN YOUR WORLD I MEAN?” Papyrus asked hesitantly, as if unsure if he should be asking this or not. You nodded your head, knowing he couldn’t you, but hoping he could feel the movement of your head. 

“She’s the one who sent me here.” You mumbled. “THEN IS SHE NOT ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS?” He asked, puzzled. You couldn’t help letting loose a dry laugh. “Yeah, she helped me alright sending me here. Only out of pure malicious curiosity. Alphys did a lot of… unpleasant tests on my Soul while working on the machine.” Alphys’ favorite had been the electro shock, starting of little and increasing, to see how much your Soul could take before it started losing HP. 

Papyrus was silent, probably shocked so. A Soul was the very essence of a being. To have one's Soul tortured is extremely painful. You could testify to that, you would hate to ever see that bitch again. “And I’m Paps, I don’t know why I’m acting like this. This is the happiest I’ve been in a very  _ very  _ long time. I-I’m just being ungrateful.” 

“HUMAN, DO NOT SAY THAT! WHY YOU ARE VERY GRATEFUL! YOU ALWAYS PLAY GAMES WITH ME, AND READ TO FLOWEY, AND COMPLIMENT MY COOKING, AND SAY NICE THINGS TO BLUE. YOU ARE A VERY PLEASANT PERSON TO BE AROUND.” 

Your stomach hurt from all his complaints. You wanted him to stop, but at the same time you wanted to hear him talk nicely about you always. Flipping the covers off you, you grab Papyrus into a big hug, burying your face into his chest. 

“Thank you.” You sobbed, crying for what felt like the millionth time today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader really needs therapy ;-;   
Who do you all vote should be Reader’s therapist?


	18. Family dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I absolutely adored everyone’s comments and suggestions in the last chapter   
Now, usually I would suggest if you’re having mental issues to get in contact with a professional therapist, but for a lot of cases (such as being stuck underground) that’s not an option. So, if you’re struggling with something, please don’t bottle it up inside. Reach out to a trusted individual, whether that be family, friends, a romance partner, or online friends. You’re not alone and I want all my readers to feel safe and cared for. 
> 
> As for Reader, I do enjoy the idea of group therapy. I’ll bat that idea around in my head for a while and come up with some wholesome Reader-healing content.

“Wow, this is really fucking stupid.” Flowey commented with a scowl, glaring you up and down. You could see that annoyed concern in his eyes though. 

“Paps words, it’s not good to be cooped up in a house all day and night.” You said, shrugging on a jacket. It was a nice jacket, one that Blue had bought you when he heard you all were going to Grillbys.’ He had seemed kind of excited about it, you were less so. 

You had never personally met Grillby, only heard about him from Red. From what you knew, he sounded like an utter sleazeball. ‘ _ But this is a different Grillby. He’s probably as nice as everyone else is in this timeline. _ ’ You silently reminded yourself. 

Like always, you felt a stab of anger, regret, and resentment that you couldn’t have been born in this timeline instead. It would have been so much easier, everything. Shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts, you zipped your jacket up with a bit more force than necessary. “Are you coming with or not?” You asked Flowey as you made your way to the door. He let out a soft snarl. 

“Of course I have to go with you fuckface! Who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get into without me.” You smiled softly at his words, opening the door to your room. It’s strange to think, just a month ago, he had dragged you out the ruins by force, now here he is, your potty mouthed faithful defender. Stifling a giggle at that thought, you started down the stairs with Flowey in tow. Blue greeted you, only a little awkwardly. That drunken moment still hanging heavily between you. You- well, you were still confused. 

After you had made your way down the stairs, with Flowey coming to wrap himself across your stomach, head laying just where your shoulder was, a deep scowl in place, it seemed everyone was ready to go. You all immediately set out outside. 

As soon as you did, you became aware of something odd. Now that you weren’t in a panicked state, running to stop Frisk, running away from Flowey, running away from Blue, now that you were actually semi relaxed. You realized how big it was outside. How much room there was. How many  _ people  _ there were. 

“don’t worry.” Blue said, making you aware that you had subconsciously grabbed a hold of his jacket. You cast your wide eyes towards him. “i already told everyone ‘bout you. no one’s gonna hurt you.” 

How do you explain that that wasn’t it. This whole time you’ve been trapped in one place, with few people. There was so much room. So many people. It was utterly  ** _terrifying._ ** You wanted to bolt right back into the house and hide under the covers on your couch…. but you really didn’t want to ruin this for everyone else. So you held it in, as best as you could that is it say. You still kept an ironclad hold of a fistful of Blue’s jacket though. 

Your eyes wandered from one part of the town to the next, before you settled on watching the ground. It wasn’t as intimidating just staring at the ground. You could pretend you were back in a small safe bubble. Why was this happening? You felt so dizzy at all the happenings around you, you had  _ looked forward  _ to being able to walk around town, safe and sound. 

“heya there kiddo.” 

Your head snapped up, your train of thought faltering as you locked eyes with a somewhat recognizable head of hair. Shifting the hair from their eyes, a pair of deep brown eyes met yours. 

“Hey Sans, hey random human that fell down after me.” Frisk chirped cheerfully. 

*****

“Blue, that’s a real creative name.” Frisk said, their tone serious and their face blank. You let out a nervous sort of chuckle, squirming in the seat you were in. Having taken a booth, you had insisted on sitting on the inside with Blue on the end. It was stupid, but it made the new place feel a little smaller. And Blue made you feel safer. 

“Sorry for the mistaken identity there, Blue. Nice to meet you, I’m Frisk.” Blue smiled, playing along as he grabbed the kid’s hand and shook. Still holding on tight, Frisk gave a saucy wink. “Or you could call me tonight.” You jolted on the spot. Th-this child! Who taught them how to talk like that. 

Blue wore a thoughtful expression before giving a mischievous trouble. “i could call you dead too. you’re sitting pretty confidently for a human in a monster bar.” Frisk waved their hand, as if brushing off such worries. “I’ve already won the hearts of these people. Now onward to bigger  _ fish _ .” They wiggled their eyebrows. You were very confused with the conversation, like they were speaking only inside jokes. 

Papyrus was looking just as confused and slightly frustrated, like he couldn’t figure out if anything that was just said was a pun or not. He let loose a loud ‘HMMPH’ before crossing his arms and pouting ever so slightly. It appeared Papyrus didn’t like being left out. Lifting your hand, the hand that wasn’t in a death grip on Blue’s jacket, you reached across the table and patted Papyrus’ forearm. “Ah, um Paps, you haven’t brought me any new word puzzles since last week.” You pointedly ignored the fact that last week you had gotten shitfaced and had pretty much thrown yourself at Blue. 

“YES (Y/N!) I WAS ACTUALLY UNCERTAIN IF YOU WOULD LIKE ONE OR NOT. YOU SEEMED FAIRLY BORED WITH THE OTHER ONES I HAVE BROUGHT YOU BEFORE.” You let out a small chuckle. “That’s because they’re so hard. Only someone like you could finish those.” And that was the truth. Papyrus got really focused on them. Once he picked a puzzle up, he didn’t put it down until he had finished it. 

“I still enjoy them though.” You said, a smile lifting up the corner of your lips. Papyrus looked very pleased with himself, before he said anything more though, something flickering caught your eye. You turned and gasped out loud as a flaming monster stood beside your booth. Hand spasming, you immediately found yourself gripping tighter onto Blue’s jacket. His head turned to you and attempted to give you a reassuring smile. 

“calm down there (y/n,) i know grillby’s  _ hot, _ but you don’t gotta be so  _ bothered  _ by it.” Blue piped up, breaking the awkward silence as you stared up at the flame monster. You let out a soft hesitant chuckle as you finally moved your gaze from there supposed Grillby. A voice like crackling wood caught your attention and your immediately moved back to the fire monster. 

“Who…… is this?” 

“i told you i was going to bring my soulmate around grillz. this is her, (y/n,) meet grillby, my best pal, grillby, this is (y/n.)” Blue hummed thoughtfully for a moment while Grillby’s stared you down. You were feeling more than a bit intimidated by his relentless gaze. “and get me a burg, extra ketchup bud.” 

“I WILL TAKE YOUR FINEST PLATE OF SPAGHETTI!” Papyrus declared. Frisk caught your eye and gave you a reassuring smile. “I’ll have a BLT hot stuff, with a side of fries.” Grillby's fire crackled as he stared silently over at you, probably waiting for your order. You didn’t even know what they served, no one showed you a menu! 

“Uh, a burger a-and fries?” You said, picking at the corner of the table, avoiding any and all eye contact. 

“...........” 

“....... It will be…….. ready…….. momentarily…..” 

Realizing you still had your death grip on Blue’s jacket, you jerked your hand back and stuffed both between your thighs. You felt Blue shift behind you before glancing up at him. He was looking at you with a slightly wary smile. “you doing alright there (y/n?)” You nodded, before glancing down at the table and ignoring the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Blue gave an unconvinced hum. 

“hey grillz, can we get this to go instead?” Your head jerked back up and you frowned. Blue was waving Grillbys down and the fire monster was already nodding his head, before going on to prepare the meal. Your shoulders slumped and you had to hold in a grimace. This was supposed to have been fun and you fucking ruined it. Geez, you couldn’t even go out in public without announcing to the world you had problems. 

“Hmmm, I guess we can eat at your place Blue. But I’m staying over for tonight.” Frisk declared, dragging you out of your self deprecating thoughts. Blue chuckled. 

“sure thing, but if we’re having a movie night, i’m picking the movie this time. your taste in movies is  _ bitter _ .” Frisk made a face at that before sticking their tongue out at Blue. They let out a little giggle before they turned their head and their eyes caught yours. 

“And I can learn some more about you, (Y/n.)”

That sounded ominous. 

“You know, nobody asked what  _ I  _ wanted to eat.” Flowey snapped from your shoulder. You felt some tension leave you as you huffed out a small giggle before patting Flowey on the head and mumbling promises that you’d share your food with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can Reader go one chapter without self-hating on herself? NoPe


	20. Opening up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drew some art for this fanfic, will probably be drawing more later if I get the time  
So follow my tumblr to keep updated ;) 
> 
> Artwork: https://author-chanuwu.tumblr.com/post/622402498587754496/some-art-i-did-for-a-facfiction-im-writing-if-you

“Could I talk with you for a moment?” Glancing up from the movie, your eyes locked onto Frisk’s gaze. Your eyes immediately looked away and seemed to subconsciously search the room for Blue. But Blue had just left to put Papyrus to.

“Uh-“ Eyes flickering to Flowey, you found him sound asleep on your shoulder. Feeling a burst of affection for the flower, you couldn’t help your face softening at the sight of him. Scooping him up and off you, you gently laid him on the couch. Taking a deep inhale, you stood up and cautiously made your way to the child.

I mean, you knew Frisk wasn’t just any child. If they were anything like the Frisk from your timeline. Red often went into rants when he was drunk, which was often, and his favorite subject was how many tries it took to kill the kid without them resetting. They were special and otherworldly. Which made you very wary of them.

“Yeah?” You mumbled, voice low as to not wake Flowey. Frisk jerked their head for you to follow before walking away. After hesitating a moment, you trailed after the strange child. They led you into the kitchen and then gestured for you to take a seat as if they owned the place. Thoroughly confused, and a tad bit frightened, you sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

Looking at you, Frisk opened their mouth but then promptly shut it, they frown, and then began pacing back and forth across the kitchen, seemingly in deep thought. They paused, glanced at you with a puzzled expression, before shaking their head and continuing their pacing. Every passing second that they paced set your nerves on fire even more. What did they want? They were making you increasingly nervous.

Taking a deep breath, Frisk finally stopped directly in front of you, their eyebrows knitted together. They opened their mouth again but this time they actually started talking. “Tell me about Red.”

You stood up, chair legs scraping harshly against the floor as your movement pushed it back. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. A mix of anger, fear, anxiety, and hurt churned in your stomach. What right did this child have to ask about that? Who had even told them? Someone must have, otherwise they would’ve never known.

“Flowey told me. He thought, maybe… I don’t know, maybe it would help talking to someone with a similar experience.” Ah, Flowey. Ha, <strike>of co**urse he would**.</strike> You couldn’t hold back a bitter ugly laugh.

“Similar experiences?!” You hissed through clenched teeth, feeling your anger rising. “This- this fucking place is a godsend! Everyone here i-is so nice. This place has nothing in common with the hellhole I had to endure!” Pinching the ends of your nose, you tried to rein in your anger and jealousy. They might be a special child but they were still a child. Still, that bitter taste on your tongue grew as their words rolled through your mind.

“It is a really nice place.” Frisk agreed, their voice even and calm. Your frustration almost boiled over yet again at their acknowledgment but they started speaking again before you could. “I can remember each reset.” Frisk said, a pained look crossing their face. They closed their eyes. “Sure, I know when to dodge now, I know what to say now, I know everyone’s attack pattern now. But that took practice (Y/n.)” Opening their eyes, they looked in yours, and it felt like they were staring straight into your very SOUL. “I could tell you what it feels like to be burned alive, how it feels to have bones sticking out your chest, how long it takes to bleed out from multiple small cut marks. I could go on and on about it (Y/n,) but I won’t. I’ve dealt with my trauma, I cope with my pain, and I work so hard to be the best version of me I can. But you” They took your hands in theirs, eyes shining with barely suppressed tears, squeezing them ever so slightly. “You have so much hurt, so much pain. It might not be the same for us, I have never been put under the sheer mental abuse you’ve suffered. And I always knew the ones that hurt me, did it out of desperation and no real malice. I know it’s not the same (Y/n,) but I want to help you.”

You don’t know when you started crying, but here you were, clinging to a young child, who wasn’t so young, crying. You hadn’t known that, you really hadn’t, or you would have never gotten so angry towards them. So you found yourself telling them, not everything. Not about the scars, or the attempted SOULbond, or the painful SOULmark he left, but you told them about your experiences. His days coming ‘home’ drunk, how mustard made you sick just smelling it because it smelled like his breath on your lips, how he’d use you whenever he felt like it, no matter how loud you screamed no, how he made you like it, and how he’d call you degrading and demeaning names during it.

Maybe later you’d be disgusted with yourself for telling all this to a child, but right now your shoulders sagged, as if a weight had lifted from them.

*****

“heya (y/n,) you need something?” Blue sounded surprised to see you outside his door so late. You shifted from foot to foot, feeling anxious for good reasons. Your eyes were still a little puffy from your crying session with Frisk. Yet, you felt you might as well get all your secrets out on the table since you’re going around spilling your guts.

“Can I show you something?” You asked, voice shaking with every word. Blue frowned, not a good look on him, before nodding you into his room. He kept the door open, but you slowly pushed it shut. Blue gave you a puzzled look, but you were too busy trying to work to the nerve to actually do this.

‘He won’t judge you, he’s Blue. He’s sweet and thoughtful.’ You tried to convince yourself, yet there was still a large part of you terrified. It’s one thing to know you’re tainted and disgusting, it’s another to actually see it. Still, you grit your teeth together and grabbed hold of the hem of your shirt. Blue made a choking sound as you swiftly stripped out of your shirt, leaving you bare except for your bra.

“a-ah, are you-geez, um, what are you-“ His voice completely cut off when you turned around, your back facing him. You were shivering, and not from the cold. You could feel his eyelights on those disgusting scars across your back. The room was silent, so silent that the silence was painfully loud. “why would he- why would that trash- who does this to their...?” Blue’s voice lowered and his breath seemed to quicken. You felt him move towards you. You flinched, expecting him to touch your scars, but he never did.

“sans’ mate, why did he-? why did he carve that into you? fuck, what was he trying to prove?!” You grimaced when he cussed, unused to Blue cursing. Before you said anything else, you slipped your shirt back over your head. Turning to face him, you weren’t surprised to see his eyes pitch black. Wrapping your arms around yourself, in a weak attempt to stop your shaking, you let out a small humorless chuckle.

“He tried to do a SOULbond.” Out of sheer surprise, Blue’s eyelights flickered back to life. “I said yes to him, I was just so tired of fighting.” You glanced down. “It never got me anywhere.” Taking a deep shaky breath, you continued. “It didn’t work. My SOUL fought against the bond and attacked his.” A hint of pride entered your voice. “I nearly killed him.” The small smile that was making its way to your lips wavered. “He didn’t die though. And he got really angry and used one of his magic bones to carve that into my back.”

There was a long stretch of silence, before Blue finally spoke. “co-could i please hold you right now?” His voice sounded strained and desperate. You were surprised by his question, almost wary of it. Didn’t he think those scars were ugly? Still, you gave a hesitant nod of your head. Approaching, Blue slowly wrapped his arms around you, and drew you close to him. His arms were loose enough, that you could push your way out if you wanted.

You didn’t feel the need to.

Instead you wrapped your own arms around him and pressed your forehead against his shoulder. It was warm. It was comfortable. It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader is getting too comfortable, time to cause chaos in the next chapter >:3


	21. Fluff and angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit’s going down in this chapter
> 
> Also be sure to check out my tumblr. Ask me questions and just feel free to talk to me and stuff UwU: [Here](https://authorchanuwu.tumblr.com/)

Two more months had passed swiftly in the Undergrounds. Frisk always keeps you updated on their travels to break the barrier. It was both amusing and worrying to you. It was like a kid on an adventure, but the kid doesn’t have adult supervision and you’re a gosh dang mother hen. They always laugh your worries off and assure you, they can never truly die. That does very little to relieve your nerves. 

Toriel visits every other week so far, Flowey always vanishes whenever she does. You can’t fault the little flower for that. It must be awkward for him to be around her. She’s helped you a lot, giving you plenty of breathing exercises and mind games that are supposed to help calm anger and panic attacks. They more or less help, but it’s the thought that counts, and Tori is always so thoughtful. 

Things with Blue have been going well… um, maybe more than well. Seeing as he was in your room right now and you weren’t flipping your shit. It’s just getting harder and harder to be scared of him the more you get to know him. Blue’s just so much more different than Red. He’s sweet, thoughtful, kind, and kind of a big nerd. Which is why you wanted to do this. I mean, you think you wanna do this. You were really fucking nervous. Letting out a small huff of air, you tried smiling at Blue who was sitting on the other side of your couch. (You still couldn’t bear to sleep on a bed. Too many bad memories.) It came out as more of a grimace. 

“wait, why do i need to close my eyes for? not that _ eye _ minding taking one, i don’t know if _ iris _sleeping in here tho.” Blue said, throwing a few puns your way. You let out a half groan, half laugh. Not only had you gotten comfortable with him, but he’s seemingly gotten more comfortable around you. Or at least more confident in himself. (It was kinda cute.) 

“Just do it,” You blinked. “Please.” You added, hoping to sound a tad less rude. Blue shrugged his shoulders but closed his sockets nonetheless. “don’t let paps catch me napping in here. you know _ eyeball _every time he gets onto me.” Oh god, this wasn’t going to work if he didn’t shut up. Almost as if some godly being had whispered into his nonexistent ears, Blue finally fell silent. Taking a deep breath, you scooted closer to him. The closer you got, the more you lost your nerve. 

‘_ It’s fine, it’s fine. He likes ketchup, dorky tv shows, puns, and puzzles.’ _You went over the mental list of things that made Blue unique and definitely not someone you should fear. So with your last glimmering bit of courage, you leaned forward and pushed your lips against his teeth. 

There was an immediate jolt from Blue and for a second, you were afraid he would pull back away from you. He didn’t. After a second or two passed, you gained enough courage to move your lips hesitantly against his teeth. They were smooth, no sharpness to them, and they buzzed with a soft comforting spark of magic. It just made you want to sink into him and hold onto him for as long as you could. You poked your tongue out, just a peek, and ran the end of it across his pseudo-lips. He let out a small little gasp. You were almost tempted to duck your tongue in his mouth, but the last of your courage was quickly waning. Leaning back, you smiled shyly up at Blue, who was watching you with fuzzy pin-pricked eyelights. 

(What if he hadn’t liked it? Was he grossed out? Did he hate it? God, you’re so disgusting, you didn’t even ask if he wanted to kiss or not. He probably thought you were gross, and disgusting, and a desperate whore-) 

“oh uh wo-wow. th-thank you?” Blue stammered out. His eyelights seemed to widen as he realized what had left his mouth. “um i mean that was real neato. i enjoyed myself immensely.” His eyelights were practically bulging out of his skull and he looked like he wanted to dust right them and there. Covering your mouth with your hand, you tried to stifle your laugh, but still a rather unattractive snort made its way out of your lips. You both stared in silence after that before both bursting into laughter. 

You were glad he thought it was ‘_ neato.’ _You snorted out another bout of laughter at that thought. You’ve never kissed someone on your own before. It’s always been sharp and rough kisses that were forced on you. These didn’t even cut your lips up. 

“you cold?” Blue asked, making you aware that you had both your arms wrapped around yourself. You hadn’t even opened your mouth to answer him, Blue had already shrugged off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. His hand rested on your opposite shoulder, looking at you questioningly, as if asking if that was okay. You nodded your head, and sort of snuggled in closer to the bigger skeleton. 

You stayed that way for a while, you snuggled up against Blue, while he held you like broken glass. Which was as good as an analogy for yourself as you could think of. After what must have been an hour or so of pure silence, Blue finally got up from the couch with a small unhappy huff. You rubbed at your eyes, almost having fallen asleep there. “i uh promised paps i’d pick up some noodles before dinner.” Blue said, scratching at his neck. You just smiled and waved him away. Blue let out another huff of air before sending a grin your way. He disappeared in a puff of magic. 

As soon as he was gone, you found yourself running your fingertips across your lips. You swore you could still feel that faint buzz of magic racing through them. A blush formed across both cheeks and you almost wanted to childishly hide under your blanket. 

You were jolted out of your thoughts at a small rasp of knuckles against your door. “knock knock.” The familiar voice echoed from the other side of the door. Practically tripping over yourself to get to the door, you slid the jacket off your shoulders. “Coming!” You sang, nearly at the door. “You forgot your jacket, didn’t-“ Swinging open the door, your voice immediately cut off. The small smile that had been dancing on your lips had frozen in place. Spikes, sharp teeth, one golden tooth glaring angrily at you, and red, ** _so much fucking red. _ **You took a step back, “Oh.” Escaped from your mouth as the world started to spin in fast circles. 

‘_ This was a dream. A nightmare. I’ll have to tell Blue when I wake up.’ _Was the last thing you thought before your eyes fluttered back and you pitched to the ground unconscious. 

***** 

Sans watched this little display with a small pissed grimace parting his teeth. He had expected a lot of things coming here. Another version of himself, was not one of them. Especially not a version you seemed so **fucking chummy with** . A growl rolled its way through his throat as he crouched down beside your unmoving form. You had sounded so fucking sweet and cheerfully when answering him, when you thought he was that other pansy assed version of himself. Sans nearly gagged as the scent of that fake was all over you. It was pissing him off, _ you _were pissing him off. 

‘_ fuckin’ whore. this is why i had ta keep ya locked up ya bitch.’ _ Running away was one thing, it was almost fun for Sans playing cat and mouse with you. But ** _cheating _ **on him. Fuck, he’d dust the bitch right in front of your eyes and fuck you into the ground right on top of his dusted bits just to teach you a lesson. Scowling, he reached over and pinched the blue material that was soaked in his other half’s disgusting scent before tossing it as far away from you as he could. Sans was reaching for you, nearly had you in his arms, ready to ‘port away and text the lizard bitch, when his own voice rang just outside the door. 

“hey (y/n), i forgot my-“ Sans didn’t even have time to react before he was gripped by magic. 

“**what did you do to her.**” 

***** 

Blue was shaking, every bone rattling in his body as he held the other him still with his magic. No, not just any other him. This was ** _Red_ ** . He just knew it. This was the monster that had been haunting you for so long. ‘ ** _i’ll kill him!_ **’ His mind snarled. Raising his hand upwards, Blue flung Red against the wall. Before he could hit it though, Red teleported. Still having a tight grip on him with his magic, Blue followed. They landed in the forest just behind the house. Red was glowering hatefully at Blue. 

“she’s fuckin’ mi-“ 

“nah” Blue flung him against a tree before Red could finish that sentence. He lifted him away and then back against the tree. Away and then back. Away and then back. _Away and then back. _**_Away and then back. _**When Red had begun panting for breath, Blue created a sharp bone, pointing it directly at Red. “**no hard feelings. i** **just really hate you.**” Blue said, ready to finish it all. 

“Bluuuuuue.” Your voice screeched from inside the house. Surprised, Blue’s magic slacked, just enough for Red to slip out of his magic’s grasp and teleport away. Blue was immediately in the house, looking for you. You were still on the ground, Red nowhere to be seen. Your eyes were overflowed with tears and your shoulders had immediately slumped in relief upon seeing him. Getting to your feet, you flung yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around Blue. 

“I-I had the worst dream.” You sobbed, and Blue felt his SOUL shake with pity and guilt. He didn’t want to tell you your nightmare was real. But he’d have to. Wrapping his arms around you, he just held you, his body shaking as much as yours. Blue had almost lost you, you’d almost went back to that hell again. His face turned into a snarl as he pressed his forehead against your shoulder. Blue wouldn’t let Red touch you again. He’d sooner die than let that happen. 


	22. Shattered

If you moved you would break. If you even twitched a muscle you would shatter. You would break apart into pieces on the floor. So, you didn’t move, you barely breathed. One hand clutched a cup of water while the other held someone’s hand. It was fleshy so it must be Frisk’s. Your eyes shifted across the room, very careful not to move an inch. You were in the living room sitting on the couch, someone had thoughtfully draped a blanket over your shoulders. Blue was sitting on your other side while Papyrus was pacing across the room. 

** _Flowey was still gone. _ **

‘ _ He’s killed him. Oh god, he’s killed him again and it’s all my fault.’  _ Your thoughts quickly drifted into hysterics, but you remembered not to move. Papyrus paused in his pacing to give you a concerned look. You met his gaze with your own. 

“HUMAN, YOU SHOULD FINISH YOUR DRINK.” Papyrus said, his voice becoming increasingly nervous as you didn’t react. He didn’t understand. None of them did. None of them knew. None of them understood. You can’t move until you wake up. Because this was a dream. And if you moved you would break. Everything would shatter. 

And then you’d back to square one. All that work would be for nothing. Everything would be for nothing. “hey (Y/n) everything’s gonna be fine.” Blue mumbled beside you. He had sat far enough to where the two of you weren’t touching and he had his skull turned away from you. What you couldn’t see was the dark look across Blue’s face and his fists clenched against his shorts. 

“Yeah, from now on we’ll just keep a watch.” Frisk piped in, their eyes locked onto you with concern. “Until that bastard-“ “LANGUAGE LITTLE HUMAN!” “-sorry Papyrus. Until that  _ creep  _ is caught, we’ll just have at least one person sticking to (Y/n)’s side like glue. He won’t catch us off guard again.” 

You almost wanted to laugh. They were wrong, they were all wrong. He’d never stop, he’d have you, and then it would be over. But this was a dream so it didn’t much matter. You just had to wait until yo ** _u wake up_ ** . You have to remember not to move, to barely breath, to stay calm. Wait until Flowey or Blue woke you. 

“hey kid, maybe you should go nab tor? she uh, doesn’t look so good.” Again the urge to laugh doubled at Blue’s comment. You didn’t know why but something he had said was utterly  _ hilarious.  _ A breath fluttered out between your lips as you reminded yourself to breathe. You had to breathe until you woke up. 

“Yeah, on it. Be back in a flash.” And the little bundle of brown hair and flesh was jumping up from the couch and scurrying away. That was fine but you were really missing that warmth from their hand. It felt like a reminder that you were alive. But you weren’t alive, you were asleep. This wasn’t real. 

You wanted to wake up, wake up  _ now.  _ **Do not move, you’ll shatter. **

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Blue scoot just the tiniest bit closer to you. His hand reached out as if to touch you but they never closed that gap, just hovering hopelessly between you two. Your shallow breathing was the only thing you could hear.  _ Wake up wake up wake up wake up wakeup wakeup wakeup wakeupwakeupwakeupwak-  _

“Ah-“ Your voice came out strangled as you felt a big fat tear roll down your cheek. You slumped back listlessly against the couch. You moved and _you sha_**_ttered._** A sort of humorless laugh passed through your lips. Why had you ever thought you could be happy? You were Red’s- 

No, you were San’s mate. His bitch. His whore. His his his his his. 

This wasn’t even your timeline. You didn’t  _ belong  _ here. You belonged in yours, with Sans. You didn’t want to go back, no, you  ** _wouldn’t _ ** go back. You stood suddenly, cutting off Blue's words and realizing that he had been talking through your realization. Your eyes met his worried gaze. What concerned him was how blankly you looked at him, as if you were seeing right through him. 

“I need-“ You whispered, eyes slightly unfocused. “I need to use the bathroom.” And then you were gone, darting out of the living room and to the stairs towards the bathroom. Both skeletons watched you with concern, none the wiser to what you were about to do. 

‘ _ I’m not going back, I’m not.’  _ You thought to yourself. ‘ _ I’d sooner die.’  _

*****

Sans was pissed. No, scratch that. He was fucking  ** _enraged._ ** He had finally had his mate back. Sans had been so close to you and he hadn’t even been able to  _ touch  _ you. You were  ** _his_ ** . 

“fuckin hell bitch and fuck you.” Sans snarled our nonsense cuss words, practically seeing red. Drawing up a blaster, he aimed blind. He wanted to burn this while fucking timeline down into ash. He’d fucking show you. Leave him? You were going to  _ learn _ . 

Letting loose a burst of pure red magic, he saw multiple Froggits scatter out of the way. Sans didn’t check, nor did he care, to see if they got dusted or not. The only one he cared to watch fade away before him was that other version of himself. “pansy ass blue balled fucker.” Sans spat, letting loose another burst of magic from his gaster blaster. “i’ll fuckin slaugher ya and fuck m’bitch on yer dust.” 

“Wowie, you sure got a temper.” 

Sans propelled a bone towards the voice before he even turned around to check it was. He turned, chest still heaving with rage, as he glowered at the spot the voice had been. The bone he had thrown was there, stuck into the ground. Yet there was not a SOUL around. 

“Over here dipshit.” 

Sans whirled around, magic flaring in his eye socket. He faltered though as he laid his eyelights on the small flower before him. A very familiar flower at. “you.” Sans hissed, glowering at Flowey. 

“Me.” Flowey agreed, nodding his head with a slightly amused and smug look on his face. “And you’re the piece of shit everyone’s heard about.” Flowey’s eyes went wide with mock innocents. “You even killed little ol’ helpless me.” 

“wadda ya want?” Sans hissed out through clenched teeth. “start talkin’ or i’ll kill ya all ov’ again.” He took a step towards the flower as if to emphasize his threat. The little bastard just started giggling before taking a look around at the destroyed trees and dusted monsters. Flowey’s childish smile tightened. 

“You know, I don’t give much of a fuck what you do here.” Flowey tilted his head and grinned cheerfully at Sans’ confused and annoyed glare. “Kill everyone, kill me, do it over and over again. That’s the game. It’s  ** _fun_ ** .” Sans wouldn’t admit it, not even on his deathbed, but he certainly felt a chill crawl down his spine at the look of utter hate Flowey was sending him. For some reason, he felt it might be his sins. 

“You could probably kill (Y/n) right~ in front of me and I wouldn’t shed a single tear.” Sending a wink, the cocky flower stuck his tongue out. Sans opened his jaws for a retort. He’d never kill his fucking mate. You were  ** _his_ ** , why the fuck would he go through all this trouble just to kill you? 

“ ** _But_ ** ,” Sans froze as Flowey started drawing himself up, vines popping out across the ground. The red dressed skeleton drew up his own magic, preparing for an encounter. “ ** _Seeing her cry, really fucking pisses me off_ ** .” 

And just as quickly as his magic had flown through the air, it vanished. Leaving the little flower smiling cheerfully up at Sans. It baffled Sans enough that he didn’t attack the defenseless flower immediately. “Just a warning Red.” And then the flower was gone, leaving Sans gnashing his teeth in confusion and frustration. 

What the fuck was up with this timeline?! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue: ready to fight  
Frisk: Ready to fight  
Papyrus: READY TO FIGHT   
Flowey: Ready to fight   
Reader: Ready to fkin die


	23. It’s fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: BLOOD, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, and SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

_ ‘It was fine, it was fine, everything was fine.’ _

Even as you tried to reassure yourself, the glass still kept shaking in your hand. Your knuckles were bleeding from when you had punched the mirror in, your heart pounding painfully in your chest. Honestly, you were surprised neither of the brothers heard that. 

Now you held a sizable shard from the once whole mirror. <strike>It was just like you now. Broken</strike> Holding the piece up, you examined what little of yourself you could see in the small bit of reflection. Your eyes looked back at you, swollen and haunted. You tried a smile on, wobbling but a smile nonetheless. Your eyes didn’t change. 

Taking a deep shaky breath, you returned the glass to the skin of your wrist, pressing down just barely on it. Your skin tingled where the glass touched, as if it sensed what you were about to do to it. 

_ ‘Just one cut, one deep cut, and it would be over.’  _

Taking another deep breath, you repositioned the glass halfway up towards your elbow. Holding said breath, you closed your eyes,  _ pressed  _ the glass down and swiped it across your arm. Almost immediately as the glass left your skin, warmth blossomed up and across your arm. 

Opening your eyes, you watched in dazed amazement as blood from cut, dripping down onto the ground below. You stood there for what felt like minutes, but only half a second ticked by, before the pain set in. The glass fell from your grip and your hand instinctively squeezed against as much of the open wound as you could cover. Fear fluttered through you but you gripped your teeth together and released your grip with a sharp hiss. 

A knock at the door startled you, you almost stumbled to the ground as your vision swam. “Yea?” You called out, your voice tight and slightly choked. 

“hey (Y/n) you alright in there?” Blue’s voice rang out from behind the closed door. It sounded so far away. You stumbled and placed a bloodied hand on the wall to steady yourself. “M’fine.” You spoke softly as you tried to gently lower yourself to the ground. 

The ground was suddenly racing towards you at an alarming speed. You faintly felt yourself laying against the cool floor as you shivered and shook. You heard noises, knocking at the door you think? You could feel boned fingers tugging at you, trying to turn you around, just before everything went dark. 

*****

“ ** _PAPYRUS_ ** !” 

The taller of the skeleton brothers was already racing up the stairs before his brain had time to process that he was called. He’s never before heard his brother  _ yell _ before. While Papyrus was the outspoken and louder of the bunch, Sans had always been lazily soft spoken. There was a strange amount of dread in Papyrus’ SOUL as he rushed up towards the bathroom. He halted, just outside the open door, magic coming out in visible waves. 

Entering inside, he could see his brother clutching you in his arms. There was a panicked expression on Sans face and his magic was going haywire, bottles, toothbrushes, and combs were floating in the air while the doors to the bathroom cabinets were rattling so fiercely that Papyrus was surprised they hadn’t ripped off the hinges. 

It didn’t take Papyrus long to find out what had rattled his brother this badly. All it took was noticing the puddle of blood that Sans and you were laying in for Papyrus to cross the room in a split second. “BROTHER, I AM GOING TO HELP THE HUMAN NOW.” Sans eyelights were completely extinguished, it was impossible for Papyrus to know if Sans was even aware of him. He didn’t react when he had spoken. “PLEASE DO NOT ATTACK ME.” Papyrus added on nervously. Still no reaction. 

Papyrus kneeled down and took a hold of your arm, where the blood seemed to be protruding from. There was a noticeably thickening of the magic in the air when Papyrus grabbed a hold of you, but other than that, Sans made no move to stop his brother. Gripping onto his mitt with his teeth, Papyrus quickly ripped them off, fingers and palm already glowing a bright orange. 

He didn’t usually use this type of his magic, as it drained his energy so quickly, but this was an emergency. Papyrus’ hand engulfed your arm, the magic flowing into the wound and working to knit the skin back together. By the time he was done, a sweat had broken out across Papyrus’ skull. He had been so focused on his work, he hadn’t even noticed when the objects in the room had fallen to the floor. Only after he was done, did he look up to find his brother’s, notably small and shaky, eyelights locked onto him. 

“SANS! WHAT ON EARTH Happened Here…?” Papyrus’ voice trailed off, eyes flickering across the bathroom. He took note of the broken mirror, the shards of glass, and the long sharp piece of glass soaked in blood. Papyrus’ face tightened with worry. Sans tightened his hold on you, your face dreadfully pale. Sans didn’t say anything and Papyrus didn’t need him to. 

“I Will,” Papyrus took a shaky breath. He couldn’t lose hope now, you were still depending on him! “I WILL CALL DOCTOR ALPHYS AND HAVE HER COME!” Papyrus was off like a rocket, pity tugging at his SOUL and threatening to drag him under. He shook his skull roughly. He would be strong enough for you, Sans, and himself if he needed to. He was The Great Papyrus after all. 

*****

“hey…” 

“....i-i’m here for you (Y/n,) i won’t let anything bad happen to you. i…. i really love you, you know.” 

“so don’t give up hon.” 

“because, someone out here really cares about you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: “Due to the coronavirus, Red is required to stay six feet away from me at all times.” 
> 
> Red: “hey! why the’ fuck does blue balls git ta stay by ya?!” 
> 
> Blue: “because, fuck you, that’s why.”


End file.
